off the edge

i see him roll onto his back
and sigh as he looks far away
his head tilted off the edge
his back slightly arched
hands resting on his stomach
and i know he wants to just jump

or maybe just roll off
stop this drone of sleeplessness
this constant breathing
this jaded pain

"it will get better."

"mhmm."

"trust me?"

"always."

i lay on my stomach next to him
dig my chin in his shoulder
and watch his eyes focus
on the movies playing only for him

Author's Note

I fully appreciate reviews, especially when they tear apart my work in an attempt to make it better. Rip, tea, break it down. Tell me how you do not like it, how to make it better. I want your opinion. Truly.

Reviews

[Avery James]

Wow. You know, I'm glad you entered this poem into my contest. I feel there's so much more there than you're ever letting the reader know. The relationship between these two people is deep and I can feel the conncection you're establishing. I especially like the last two lines "and watch his eyes focus on the movies only for him." That's a strange thing to say about a movie, and I like the mystery and intrigue you've set up. Good job!

[Adela Muresan]

Sweet, but a little too simple if you ask me.

I enjoyed reading it.

A.M.

[Des]

Wow. Very, very intriguing. Love the descriptiveness.