REMEMBRANCE OF THINGS IMPERFECT

It is the middle of a sunny summer day

I am running down the stairs

quickly and excitedly, with my neighbours following me.

 

We all want to see the Sun

It just fell down in the front yard

I saw it coming down like an overripe cantaloupe,

staining the sky with sticky, succulent golden juices.  

 

There it is,

lying on the ground,

a giant orange, trampling the grass it landed on,

squirting its warm essence all over our bodies.
 

 

The neighbourhood dogs are running around,

barking at this strange visitor.

 

I approach it warily. I touch it.

It is warm and beautiful,

glistening in the mid-noon light.

 

I remember well the feelings of amazement, incredulity,

inexplicable joy overwhelming me

and the comical expressions of confusion

on the faces

of my neighbours.

 

 

Reviews

[dead]

Though I tend to distrust memories from time to time … I like this, it reads well, actually it reads like a memory, as if the colors are different because memories partake in different color schemes than the perception of ‘now’.
My oldest memory is ‘trauma’ when I was less than a year old I was severely with a Salmonella infection of some kind, I have a visual memory of that, at least I use to, the image I think is gone now but I still have the memory as a memory which I know I have yet can no longer ‘remember’. I was sitting on the hospital bed, crying … crying …

Steven

[Suzanne Sherif]

I love the whimsy!

If you rewrote this concept with different language, it would make an excellent children's poem, because of the silliness and the way it lends itself to beautiful and humorous illustrations.

[~Mariposa Una Lila~]

this is a lovely piece of work Boris....lovely! thak you for sending! x0x00x0x

[Angel Bird]

What a wonderful, overwhelmingly beautiful imagery! I even felt its radiant warmth it spread around.

As someone before me sad - This would make a perfect childrens book when further developed.

Perfect work!
Kudos!

[Pakino]

Even the most simple things can be amusing. Great to read.

[poet2angels (lynda)]

Such a wonderful memory you have dancing in your head...
I hope it stays and overshadows any bad one that may come to try to chase it out :)
Beautiful!

TY for entering!
Lynda

[SJ Roebling]

This piece strikes such acute visualization to the point I could smell the colors, feel the warmth, and hear the dogs.
I can't help but think what a wonderful basis for a memorable child's story this would make.

[Emily Elizabeth]

Such a positive, sunny poem! I love the whole orange flavor and feel for it, it really does seem like a bright, vivid summer experience! I love the whole metaphor of the sun being like an orange, and the idea of it falling in your garden! It's a really unique idea!
It's amazing, even though the text is grey, you really get a sense of colour from it! A very heartwarming and smile-inducing poem, thanks for sharing!

[Michael]

Ni B-

This is a wonderfully fresh approach on writing about the sun. Often the common themes present us with the greatest problems but you have overcome that nicely.

I do think you should look at the tense of the work. You switch in the last stanza and it threw me off a bit. I think it would read better either all in the past tense or all in the present.

[Raja]

Deep realization, total narration, fine balance, and excessive likings. I like to find myself a reader of this nice poem.

"I approach it warily. I touch it.

It is warm and beautiful,

glistening in the mid-noon light."

I like this part very much.

Thank you for sharing this great with us.

Regards

Raja

[Raja]

Deep realization, total narration, fine balance, and excessive likings. I like to find myself a reader of this nice poem.

"I approach it warily. I touch it.

It is warm and beautiful,

glistening in the mid-noon light."

I like this part very much.

Thank you for sharing this great with us.

Regards

Raja