REMEMBRANCE OF THINGS IMPERFECT

It is the middle of a sunny summer day

I am running down the stairs

quickly and excitedly, with my neighbours following me.

 

We all want to see the Sun

It just fell down in the front yard

I saw it coming down like an overripe cantaloupe,

staining the sky with sticky, succulent golden juices.  

 

There it is,

lying on the ground,

a giant orange, trampling the grass it landed on,

squirting its warm essence all over our bodies.
 

 

The neighbourhood dogs are running around,

barking at this strange visitor.

 

I approach it warily. I touch it.

It is warm and beautiful,

glistening in the mid-noon light.

 

I remember well the feelings of amazement, incredulity,

inexplicable joy overwhelming me

and the comical expressions of confusion

on the faces

of my neighbours.

 

 

Reviews

[dead]

Though I tend to distrust memories from time to time … I like this, it reads well, actually it reads like a memory, as if the colors are different because memories partake in different color schemes than the perception of ‘now’.
My oldest memory is ‘trauma’ when I was less than a year old I was severely with a Salmonella infection of some kind, I have a visual memory of that, at least I use to, the image I think is gone now but I still have the memory as a memory which I know I have yet can no longer ‘remember’. I was sitting on the hospital bed, crying … crying …

Steven

[Morgan A Lynch]

very crative and imagitive piece..

it is warm and beautiful glistening in the mid-noon light.

lovely lines.. i felt the warmth from it..

[Abby G.]

Again, your use of spacing brings suspense. Also, your description of the poem really helped to draw me in; that's good advertising. Your lack of form in this poem really helps it stand out. I like your use of diction, using words like "incredulity" and "comical" to descrbie you amazement and confusion. Good job!

[Annelise]

First off I love the narrative, it is very different from what I have read. I love the idea of the sun falling to earth. I may be wrong in this assumption but I see it as a metaphor. Your words create a very clear image.

"There it is,

lying on the ground,

a giant orange, trampling the grass it landed on,

squirting its warm essence all over our bodies."

Such amazing imagery in this one stanza. Your title just begs for this poem to be read.

[Bubo]

We all want to see the Sun

It just fell down in the front yard

I saw it coming down like an overripe cantaloupe,

staining the sky with sticky, succulent golden juices.


What a beautiful imaginative thought!
Love it.......whimsical and fun!

[Bella Marie]

Doh I tried to edit the review and stuffed it up...sorry!

I was saying that I like the new changes, it adds depth and more beauty, like a beautiful painting.
I am still wondering why YOU could touch the sun, why it fell down, and why it landed in your garden...my curious mind!

Anyhow, it is an amazing piece.

Love Bella
XXX

[Bella Marie]

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[Bella Marie]

I approach it warily. I touch it. It is warm and beautiful, glistening in the mid-noon lightSo so beautiful, wonderful imagery...I loved these line, gave me a beautiful picture in my minds eye.This is so mysterious...why did the sun fall, why could you touch it?I love your writings Boris...truely sublime and enchanting with a deeper understanding that just on the surface, I shall have to ponder this more...How have you been anyhow?Love BellaXXX

[Michey Sharp]

This is a very creative piece...I like it