Out of line

The depth of your soul

is the heart of my light.

Take that as a fair well..

I'll take that as a good bye..

 

I missed the hole,

Your fire never filled up anything.

You just put more weight

on my shoulders.

 

Am I out of line. Do this again.

Am i out of line. My hope diaster defined.

Am I out of line. I'm battled out this time.

Am I out of line.  Our life like a glass of whine

 

 

Reviews

[Adam :P]

eh was never to sure about this one, defintely could use some work on it. use this for a draft for now,

[Clarisse Nanoit]

The rhythm is a little off toward the end, but I liked the constant rhyme at the end; how it all rhymes with "line". You have a couple of apelling errors (farewell, wine [unless that one was an intentional play on words]), but it's a great concept. I'm going through a crazy break-up right now, so I can relate to this very well. Where did the time go? lol. Nice piece. Well-penned.
KH