A Beautiful Lion in the Park

"How do I compare thee to a midsummer's day?" This seems to be a famous line or quote of Shakespeare. Yet I want to compare my love to something.

Sitting upon our meadow of rusted swings and fallen benches, I miss these precious memories. It was warm then. August I believe. I cannot believe we have been together almost a year. It seems as though the devil is throwing fire beneath our feet though. Our journey has not been easy, but difficult you see. I remember in simpler times we would be walking down the cobblestone roads, holding hands and kissing tenderly. Yet now, we are inside locked doors. What will become of us now? We seem to fight more without nature on our side. Nature like God and Mother Mary hanging in the balance. Yet, we - in our serendipitous moments - are loving and kind. We take each other and build closeness and bonds, like the Ancients. It's like looking into your eyes...I see a beautiful lion with the rapid heartbeat of a lover who cannot stay away...

Author's Note

I started out wanting it to be one thing and it developed into something different entirely. What do you think? Thoughts? Feelings?

Reviews

[siobhan becker]

beauutiiful. i could notice the change. but that's what made it so powerful

[Gabi Celaya]

Err....is actually "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?" not midsummer's (first line of Sonnet 18). I think you're confusing it with A Midsummer Night's Dream, also Shakespeare.
"August I believe." There should be a comma after "August."
"It seems as though the devil is throwing fire beneath our feet though" I don't see why you need to use the word "though twice"
"Our journey has not been easy, but difficult you see." I don't really like this line because it's redundant. If something's said not to be easy, then the first assumption is that that is because it was difficult.
"the cobblestone roads" I've seen this phrase in three of your poems so far, it's not bad in itself. But unless these poems are all part of a group, such as a quartet, for example, (in which case you should make it clear that they are) then I think you should try to come up with new images.
"like the Ancients." Eh? What Ancients? I'm not sure what this means.