The Lost Choir

The city lights may brighten the nights that I spend so far away from you;

The stars in the sky may gleam in my eyes as I stare into space, missing you.

The campfire may fuel the desire that burns from deep within my heart,

but your face is the place that I long to erase these sounds of a lost choir.

Reviews

[R J Askew]

Again the title intrigued me. I just like it. And I was taken with your lung busting lines here. I spoke them all and I end on four thinking ... what, what, what does that ref to the choir mean? It cld be literal I suppose but I imagine it must have some specific meaning to you. I like the way you are with and about words. You spray your words around with a certain skill and pleasure here. I don't care that I don't know what the choir is. Sometimes we can write things that are just none of anyone else's business.

[rwar ish me]

I really love this.
I can really relate to this.
It makes my heart ache
but it also makes me smile.
Very nice job!
~Amai

[Nath]

I like the rhymes and how "choir" completes it - but I personally find "The campfire" and "may fuel the desire" is a bit too uneven, it doesn't flow as well as the others, which do.
The imagery is nice, too, adding color and more emotion.

[De3stroy]

I like this. It's heartfelt. What i don't like, is the last line. 'Your face is the place' it's too rhyme-y..and I don't feel it matches the rest of the poem.

[Earthy Mumma Soul]

I love it .... except for the last line which I don't completely understand...:(
it captured my heart and started to make me melt.. beautiful write .. :)