dark and subdued

if i could only remember who i was,
i could keep going,
i could keep talking out loud
instead of to myself.

my whispers are becoming faint,
my illusions are real
and I’m in need of a quiet place to hide.

my song isn’t being sung anymore,
its not writing itself out for you to see.
my words get lost than found again.
I’m not free and you’re not real, he softly says to me

‘if i had to ask you one thing, would you answer?’
if you knew who i was would you love me?
if i knew, would i?

this safe bet has me anchored to this rocky shore,
the map has ripped and this ship is going down.

this was the wrong place to set sail,
the waves are rough and we’ve only just begun to die.
dive in and take the waves to your back, it won’t hurt at all.

you wont feel a thing because i cant feel you.
i can’t feel you hanging on,
your hands feel like ice on my fragile bones.

I’m sinking deeper than i ever imagined.

I’m being fooled by the night.
i drink the poison because I’m afraid the
light will bring no refuge to my sorry eyes.

i can’t breath, i can’t talk.
i hear him whisper to me often, in his songs of perfectly played tunes
his words and breath fall down my sides and take me in.
i can still hear the way the room sounded as i fell asleep.

dark and subdued you kill my aches.