you give me happiness

this feeling in me is pure joy,

I'm glad since it was you,

I wish I could see you more,

but to bad theirs nothing I can do,

I will thank you for these feelings you created,

because its only you that makes me feel this way,

and as everyday that goes by,

my happiness and joy gets brighter day by day.

Reviews

[LawrenceRaybon]

Review for the "A Little Joy" contest.

30 words or less?
No, over 50.

Subject Matter?
Love, happiness and joy.

Rhythm?
There is a nice rhythm and flow throughout.

This is a nice little poem about the joy that comes with love.
A few technical things:
Line 1: 'This' should be capitalized
Line 4: "to bad theirs" should be "too bad, there's"
Line 7: 'Everyday' should be 'every day' and you can drop 'that'

Over all a nice little poem. I love the feelings portrayed. Nice job!

Thanks for entering the contest!

Cheers,
Lawrence

***Standard Disclaimer: These are my honest opinions and they are absolutely not meant as any kind of attack. I only comment on work that I think is good and only offer advice so that we can all become better writers. You are always free/welcome to heed or disregard my opinions/advice!***