What is more deadly...

What is more deadly than a storm?

Lightning striking, thunder rolls

The rain pelt down and the wind howls

Trees fall to the ground

The lights go out and we’re in the dark

People everywhere, hurt

 

What is more deadly than a flood?

Gasping for air

As the water rises

Above your head

You begin to swim

But the water continues to climb

Until it meets the ceiling

And there is no more air to breathe

 

What is more deadly than a fire?

The flame incinerate

Burning away

Until all that remains

Is the ashes

That will be scattered by the wind

And the memories

That are never forgotten

 

What is more deadly than an earthquake?

No way to save yourself

As the earth shakes

The ceiling caving in

Trapping all that could not escape

A canyon opens in the ground

And all around is the sound

Of screaming and crying

 

What is more deadly than mankind?

Reviews

[Mirabella]

Really great poem! It's so real.

[Brittany DeFranco]

Great job!! I love how it speaks of natural disasters and the fact that mankind is our greatest deadly weapon. I absolutely love it and will be reading more

[Virtuosa X]

Great Job! Nice imagery throughout the whole thing. & when I got to the last stanza, I immediately remembered the earthquake in Haiti. With such vivid images.

Nice job!

[R J Askew]

Great job. I immediately thought 'we are' when I read the first line. Then I got the way you were going witht the poem. The verses underscore your point perfectly. I don't know that we can cause earthquakes yet - gas fracking? - but we certainly cause most of the other events.

[msJ]

love the last line... a question that invokes the mind of the readers.

[Aehr]

A very unique piece. I like the description of the natural disasters. The last line gave a very good feel and revealed to the readers, the real message of the poem. I think you did this very well. I liked it a lot.

[Pencrafter]

Your description of some common disasters is interesting. In poetic form you relate the effects that nature can have on people, then pose the intriguing question of the most deadly source of disaster. You have a small problem with tenses and, simply stated, the 's' letter. For example, in the verse about fire, the second line should probably read 'The flames incinerate'. You'll catch that kind of thing on your re-write. Overall, nicely done.

[Fabio_Cassilias]

I Think Personally it's Great the way it is and very Creative.
But at the end our Downfall will be Mankind itself wich u put as Last.
Well done.

[Owlgirl]

Great job! Very well written! I love this one!

[shawlyn]

Hi Brooklyn,
The imagery in the four 'natural disasters' is very strong. Your last line I think is quite good. It gives me the impression by not describing, that however deadly mother nature is, she does not hold a candle to mankind's ability for destruction. well done.
Regards
Shawlyn