Reasons Why I No Longer Host Dinner Parties

For a creative writing class, based on Megan Moriarty's "Reasons Why the Birthday Party was Apocalyptic".

No matter how well I build it, the soufflé collapses.

 

The potatoes want all the spices to themselves,

And the gravy is always too soft.

 

I can never separate the eggs long enough

To make them stop fighting.

 

The butter feels fat, but

The margarine won’t help.

 

The pot mocks the kettle, but won’t do a thing.

 

The platters are tired of carrying the weight.

 

My guests complain, but they never try to leave.

Author's Note

Yeah, this is for a class called Intro to Creative Writing...

Well, my family always said I needed professional help.

Reviews

[Aly Jones]

Ha ha!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

Very humors piece one that made me smile!

[KAREN]

Hahahahaha! Sounds like someone needs a cooking lesson. Very entertaing read!

[Judas Hammer]

fine job of personification, I enjoyed this, entertaining....

[Chris]

Why does it take so much 'effort' to be real?

I forget - what is the name of the curve the Department Chairs use to grade the Creative Writing Professors?

Chris