Two Advertisements

This could be your last chance to acquire the Snake’s precious drops. As always, I remind you in assessing their worth to think of the water bubbling from the rock struck by Moses in the desert or the blood dripping from the Spear of Longinus on shrouded Golgotha. Bidding begins tomorrow; there’s a prospect of rain. 
 
Procure a relic of the sacred mystery. A residue (albeit, almost imperceptible) of the universal panacea and solvent sought by philosophers throughout the ages-- living water. Transubstantiated in this instance from his own urine by the Snake. A once-in-a-lifetime opportunity; bids will be accepted in due course. Good luck.

Reviews

[FlatDaddy]

Sorry, dude, but this is not a poem. Nice try, though

[bubbafreesnake]

It isn't lined, metered, strongly cadenced or rhymed, however...

[bubbafreesnake]

That something doesn't always fit into the categorizations or definitions of philistines into page upon page of banalities, of course, doesn't surprise me.

[FlatDaddy]

Defining things is how we communicate with each other. I could put a pile of rocks on a plate and call it apple pie, too, but that wouldn't make it so. I do not mean to infer that what you have written does not have worth; it does. You just have the wrong category. Granted, when you write a piece here on WC, you are limited by the choices they give you; I suggest you choose "Story," since that seems to be the closest to what you have written. Afterwards, you can choose the genre, and there you will find many different ones that would fit, including Religious or Philosophy, etc. Thus, you might better attract the audience you want to read your work.

But dude, it ain't poetry; calling it that can just turn off your potential audience who thought you were serving apple pie.

Now, you do have another choice, which I highly recommend: restructure what you have written into a poetic form. I've looked at what you posted and it would work very well as a poem, in free verse, without changing a single word -- just the format.

Good luck to you.

FD

[bubbafreesnake]

For some reason I have a problem recalling "fatuous."

[bubbafreesnake]

But it popped into my head reading Flat Daddy's comment. :)

[FlatDaddy]

Yes, I can see that.

[S€H@J]

It's a very nice poem hoping to see it in the top three

[bubbafreesnake]

Thank you, SCH@J. Bubba

[J.P.]

"Bidding begins tomorrow, there's a prospect of rain"
Ha ha, beauty!!!

[bubbafreesnake]

Thank you, J.P.
Bubba

[Davidgeo]

I like your style bubbasnake

[bubbafreesnake]

Thanks David.

[Aluppi Jampur]

I'm generally not one to buy into what religion is selling but I do enjoy the entertainment.
Fun read. I'll hold my bid for now.

[bubbafreesnake]

I appreciate your comment Aluppi. And I went with your preference on Frankenstein's Story.