why ?

You might not understand it, you might just ask why
That all I want to do, is just lay down and die
I tried to get help; I tried to see the light
But no matter what I did, I just cant win the fight
It was more than it seemed, it was more than you thought
I attempted to do the cut and kill my self i  attempted to let life go
Now I wear long sleeves, afraid my attempts will show
I knew this wasn't the right place, I knew I had to get out
So I took my courage, and I let it shout
I did the thing I was afraid of; I did the thing I didn't like
And told someone my story, so that suicide wouldn't strike
I don't like to talk, I don't like to share
But I know this was best, I aready dont care about my self I have enough pain and heart ache to last me years they say trust god but where was he when i was suffering or cutting my self where was he wasnt there i know they say things happen but why does this have to happen to me