Late Night Paranoia

I sit in the middle of the bed

Not too close to either edge

My legs folded beneath me

My hands fiddling with a pen

Its just past two in the morning

And no one is here but me

 

Or is there?

 

I look up suddenly

Did a shadow just cross the wall?

My body tenses

I try to peer around the corner

Careful not to make a sound

 

A whisper

 

Did someone call my name?

The doors are locked

The windows shut

Did I remember to set the alarm?

My mind races as I fight to remember

 

A creak in the floor

 

I almost leap out of bed in fright

Tiptoe across the room

Someone must have broken in

My heart pounds against my chest

Slowly I open my bedroom door

Creeping down the stairs

 

Gripping fear

 

Silent prayers as I check the doors

Unlock and relock

Testing the knobs

I rub my arms trying to keep calm

But its just past two in the morning

And no one is here but me

 

Reviews

[Desert Dreamer]

I have had these nights many times and those sounds are so real, is it just our minds playing tricks and making us think we are hearing familiar sounds, even voices? or is it just the house creaking in memory of past footsteps on the floor? I get goosebumps on my arms reading your poem. Very well written.

[alesuriko]

Great use of realistic emotions. I know I feel this way so many times a night. I'm terrified of the noises houses make at night and I'm always paranoid that someone is going to break in. I like the flow, quick and abrupt yet subtle and timid, it really fits the tone and atmosphere of this poem.

[Elvina CZq]

It's already midnight here and I caught myself reading this poem of yours. haha, I don't think it's good... you know what, it's quite disturbing after reading it. You are very good with using your words to describe a certain situation, emotion, and action. Keep it up!

[1416]

Very good use of build-up. I also like the style you use to reflect the fear of lonliness.

[The Analog Kid]

Great reason for a big dog!

[tadd]

i really like the rythm of this poem-it rolls off the tongue when read aloud-great quality i think

[Michael X]

wow, this is a really great poem, well formulated flow, I reaaly
enjoyed the style as well.

[Tina Kline]

The fear is powerful in this one. You describe the paranoia so perfectly well it gave me the chills. And being awake at 2AM just increases those fears, worries and thoughts! Excellent job on this one.

The lack of punctuation is a little distracting (a well placed or misplaced comma has a profound effect on language) but you captured the atmosphere quite well. I know the feeling of midnight paranoia too well, purposely inducing it with stories of intrigue and mystery. Not an especially complex poem (and thus not much for me to say) but often simplicity is a good thing, and such is the case here. Just think a little carefully about punctuating the poem; it would see improvement if you did.

[Fallen Angel]

This was a good read, as daniel said makes an interesting suspense and also i think it's actually something a few of us have experienced..well i know i have!