THE WITNESS

 

amidst the dead,

those waiting to die,

its height surpassing

the crossed swords,

the ziggurats,

overlooking the Tigris

flowing red and

the xeric landscapes

beyond its banks,

an even sadder

palm tree stands with

its palms shredded

by gloom,

its trunk blackened

by the dried blood

of children spilled

by demoniac extremists

who eulogize the fallacies

of contrived divinities,

by nefariously obsequious

politicians effusively

touting ostensible

policies while insidious

jaundiced knowledge

looms menacingly.

Amidst this dying

world, an even sadder

palm tree stands

its shrinking dates

like diseased eyes

witnessing nothing.

Reviews

[LJW]

Amidst this dyingworld, an even sadderpalm tree standsits shrinking dateslike diseased eyeswitnessing nothing.



Your endings are amazing.

[PianoandPage]

amazing beginning and end. the middle was brilliant but muddled down with *ahem* imo TOO much vocabulary. it started feeling a little schticky instead of intelligent.

still... kudos for making me look stuff up and taking a quick www.freedictionary.com refresher course on some of those words and their exact meanings.

i absolutely love the "shredded by gloom" image. that just brought such immediacy to the feeling of the tree and what it represents. also... now that i know what "xeric" means.... i really love how that line flows as well.

the end is what kills me though. "witnessing nothing". it actually sort of reminds me of "neverending story"'s "the nothing". this horrifying... endness. probably not what you intended but still.

overall i am so impressed with your raw and yet high poetic take on iraq and its strange mix of beauty and horror.

[Tomás Ó C..]

Iraq must be some experience...

[lowena]

I really enjoyed this poem. As nature stands quietly in witness to our destructive behaviour. You certainly hit the point.

[Anne Martin]

A palm tree as witness. It reminds us or how short are lives are, and in a way how meaningless. Trees don't have arguments, fight wars, kill. They just stand there watching, probably laughing at our follies, our shortsightedness. Or perhaps they pity us, and are sad that we never learn.

Excellent work as always. (Welcome back!)

[Jet Lag]

this suits my mood tonight. as i've stated in earlier reviews tonight, i'm overly focused on the evils of humanity. what is the purpose of torture and meaness? why do we crave controlling one another? why are we so invested in tearing one another down rather than building one another up? wonderful write, my friend. i just don't understand the continual violence mankind visits upon itself.

[The Archangel Gabriel]

Wonderful piece. It has a great sort of droning flow that carries the reader wonderfully through to the end, never lacking in intensity and fervor!

Great write!

-Gabe

[Emily B]

a thought provoking write. . . I'm sorry it took me so long to get here. I hope your vacation was wonderful.

[An Ordinary Woman]

Amidst this dying
world, an even sadder
palm tree stands
its shrinking dates
like diseased eyes
witnessing nothing.... Wow, this gave me the chills. Amazing writing, and please forgive my tardiness an getting here sooner.

[E. M. Murren]

This is brilliant. Such an honest yet deceptively simplistic vision. It reads like a waterfall of Truth. Fabulous work. Thank you for sharing this.