Cracked wide open

The catalyst for my mental health struggles when i was 22 and at a festival and experimented in drugs for the first and last time. this led to a 30 year battle with psychosis and depression..

Cracked wide open 

My thoughts,
Attacked by the once sleeping demons 
I had inadvertently awakened in a drug induced trip,
Couldn't hold the pressure and 
Squealed for release
The Pandora's box which held all my greatest terrors
Spewed them into my pitiful conscious mind
And there they stayed 
For decades
Haunting me 
Tormenting me with their lies
The fear overwhelmed me time and time again 
But it never totally consumed me
I was bowed as low as the dirt from where I came
Yet I was never broken
In the dirt I grew roots and and shoots and eventually...after it all
Began to bloom

Author's Note

all comments welcome. be kind though please!:)

Reviews

[Shelley Warner]

This poem made me think of my husband (who passed away 6 years ago). He was a musician and in his youth, he took drugs. He felt mentally disturbed after a bad LSD trip. Shortly after that, he had a religious conversion and found help. He was not perfect. He still struggled with some things. But he had a great life and touched a lot of lives. As for me, I've gone on to love again. I'm not perfect. I still struggle with things. But I'm having a great life.

[Caroline B A Maguire]

wow thank you for sharing that story..that was pretty much my story too but i just held on to the pain for too many years even with God's everpresent help. im glad you found love again, you sound like a lovely lady. thank you. much love.xx

[Einstein Noodle]

Nice share Shelley!

[Shelley Warner]

Thank you both of you for your kind words on my review. Yes, some pain takes awhile to let go of (sorry for the hanging preposition:) )

[Einstein Noodle]

Welcome to the Cafe', Caroline. I think tis poem is heroic ... I feel you. Days of mind "expanding" drug use produced a lot of mountains (would have been mole hills) for many. Funny, I don't believe I have ever seen a study that compared the "good" trips vs. "bad". The mind and internal journeying there has it's dangers for sure and nothing worse than LSD to heighten fear. I am sorry for your struggle over the years. You are not alone in those long lasting effects of a bad trip. You are a Writer listed as one to watch. So ... here I am "watching" you ;))))))))))))))
E.

[Caroline B A Maguire]

Thank you E. Im so glad u get it ..aye I was one of the unlucky ones..a long struggle but not without recompense .. your review is very kind..thank you ..appreciate it..🙂