A Drunken Deceiver

(how about a sing a long)

A drunken deceiver she found she had wed,

who cast her off lightly like sheets from the bed.

He promised to love her till the end of their days,

but left her crestfallen, dejected, dismayed.

So fickle and two faced he turned out to be,

said often for her that he'd die willingly.

He wooed her so warmly and pledged his life true,

till out of the window his amour it flew.

He soon found another, her attention he sought.

Whose embers were fanned till ignited they caught.

No turning back now as trapped by new heat,

with lover expecting, he daren't get cold feet.

His wife now grows stronger with the passing of time,

while husband still frets reputation in slime.

His doleful eyes saddened look high on green fence,

he's made his own bed, it's too late to repent.

Reviews

[Verse]

Oh, this is a statement about empowerment. Both women get stronger, and the amoral guy who would sink so low as to replace someone shrivels into a spineless caricature of himself. :):). Please, please post this on I am Woman!!!

Some pieces are movement makers. In my opinion, this is one of them.

V

[Chris Shaw]

Well thank you Verse. I haven't heard of "I am a Woman", but I do thank you sincerely for your response.

Chris

[θεά]

Dear Christine,

May the narrator only get strengthened further and may such losers never get a second chance. Truth is, the mills of God may be slow, but they sure are fine. And, the way you have captured the hurt, the betrayal and the sheer shock at the nonchalance and audacity of the lowlife is all too vivid.

Your last stanza beams with redemption and rediscovery, with revitality and rejuvenation. More power to women like these!

Take a bow, Chris. Hugs.

Best,
M.

P.S. as for the women who help men like him cheat, all I have is pity for them.

[Chris Shaw]

What a passionate review Mallika, can't thank you enough. Really appreciate your visit to my page.read moreWhat a passionate review Mallika, can't thank you enough. Really appreciate your visit to my page.

Chris

[θεά ]

You are welcome. Albeit your message got clipped off.

[Chris Shaw]

So annoying when that happens. Just wanted to thank you sincerely for your comments and your visit.

Chris

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Ah don't we all know one like these?... I suppose one would say they have their reasons for doing what they do but still doesn't justify it really. ..
I love your rhymes and near rhymes here. Flows smooth.

[Chris Shaw]

There are plenty of them around Dr Y, so no shortage. Thankfully most men I know do not fall into this category. I appreciate your response.

Chris

[Flowers of Eternity]

This is a poem that keeps happening in reality!
Beautifuly made!!!

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Flowers of Eternity. Yes it happens, but most men in my opinion aren't like that. Thank you for your valued response.

Chris

[Flowers of Eternity]

Your welcome! 😊

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Good for the callous slacker-ha! Jaunty, feisty song-poem delightfully telling the allegorical tale of a player of a husband who himself got played. Musical verses with great rhythm, rhyme, metaphor, humor. This is one to grab your skirts to and dance a hearty jig! Love it dear Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you dear Annette. Pleased you enjoyed my sing a longa. Yes, unfortunately it happens. Least said the better.

Chris

[Jimmy Yetts]

Well-crafted lyrics and rhyming scheme.
While the subject matter is quite serious, "A Drunken Deceiver" appears to me to be amusing satire.
Professionally executed, good poetess!

[Chris Shaw]

Thanks Jimmy. Nothing like introducing a little bit of karma into a situation :))

[θεά ]

Karma, that's the juice which gets the Universe into motion.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

like Ricky Nelson's "Poor little Fool"

now it is his turn...and those who hurt others, they will find that hurt on them in the end.

i love the way you wrote this...the timing of it, the rhyming of it...

the attitude...

[Chris Shaw]

It's a real oldie Jacob. Right at the beginning when I was trying to write in rhyme and meter. I kept singing this as I was writing it. I couldn't get the melody out of my head.lol. I appreciate your comments.

Chris

[Dave Brown]

A sorry story nicely rhymed
Dave

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Dave. It sounds better when sung, but not by me.

Chris

[Carolynn]

I like the rhythm and rhyme you did with this. It flows nicely as you read it regardless of the slime it entails haha - good job!

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you Carolynn. Pleased the slime didn't put you off (lol)

Chris