I Should Have

I should have risen early
when the sunlight blessed the water
when the clouds were driven westward
on a breezy blue sky morn

I should have seen the willows
on the crowded banks a swaying
while the geese and ducks were dozing
in the river's flow at dawn

I was oh so far away though
I was floating in the heavens
I was chasing silver moonbeams
I was dancing with the spirits
I was ageless newly born

I saw the comet's soaring
through the darkened night time velvet
I was mesmerised by brightness
with a feeling I was weightless

while the clock had long stopped ticking
there was nothing I was missing
I was taken I was yearning
there is nothing here to mourn

Reviews

[Carola]

hi chris
another wonderful piece of penmanship.
you probably had a vivid dream. on waking, lucky that you remembered the images & turned them into words.
cheerio carola
ps love the idea of weightlessness, my daily aspiration, but I need a mouth zipper!

[Chris Shaw]

Many thanks carola, I was certainly in and out of dreams. Pleased for all your encouragement and support.

Chris

[LJ]

Ah, this is fine! The description of what we miss when we don't get up at dawn (good ones) are eclipsed by the description of where you were instead. I soared with you. I saw what you saw. I feel so much better for it. I did get up at dawn and watch the sunrise. I hope tomorrow morning, I travel a bit of your path in the stars. About this poem, I hesitate to say this, but personally, I'd leave the last stanza off. It seems unneeded to me, and takes us back down. Well, even as I say that, maybe we need to come back down and realize we need not mourn. Thank you!
LJ

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you LJ for your thoughtful review and your suggestions. Always pleased to hear how the reader relates to my work. Delighted for your visit. Happy Sunday.

Chris

[danielle.]

Awesome poem! The imagery, a little light, a little darkness. The 5 line stanza in the middle threw me but hey, why not? Your poem, your rules. I really love this xx

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you for such an encouraging review. I used to obey the rules, now I do what my muse tells me :) I appreciate your visit ellemorell.

Chris

[Lisasview]

Ahhh, Cris,
A death poem from you..showing your dark side..good for you.. and, so well done.. Really enjoyed your words this hot and sunny morning here..
I awake early each morning to light coming through my open window and to the sound of birds and roosters...Love it.
Although pretty hot now we are going for a walk through our rural area..love that walk.
Haven't been on as much as usual because my shoulder is giving me problems..I am almost finished with a new poem Luscious..for some reason this one is taking quite a bit of time..
Lisa, just finished breakfast

[Chris Shaw]

Lisa, I was thinking of you when I checked in and went to see if you had written anything new. I came to the conclusion you were busy. So lovely to hear from you so soon after I was thinking of you. I look forward to Luscious. It is very hot here at the moment. Enjoying the balmy nights. A big thank you for your thoughtful review. All good things my friend. Have a lovely walk.

Chris

[Davidgeo]

This one is kinda dark. Usually that's not your thing. Which makes this a little extra creepy to me.

[Chris Shaw]

We all have a dark side. That's where the muse led me while the sun was shining bright. Tha ks fir the visit.

Chris

[Davidgeo]

It's true, you can't have a piece of the light without knowing at least a little bit of the dark. The sun is going to have something to do with your death by the way, it already has if you really force yourself to think about it. It's kind of delightful to think about if you think about it in the right way. It's a very strange place, everyone is looking at the same thing in a fundamentally different way. Madness should be more common.

[Ayesha]

Hi Chris. I haven't been active on WC for quite some time now...but now that I am back, this is the first poem I read and it is beautiful. Reminds me of Dickinson's
"I Spilt the dew -
But took the morn -
I chose this single star
From out the wide night's numbers
Sue - forevermore"

[Chris Shaw]

Hey, pleased to see you here and more than happy you read me first Ayesha. All the best.

read moreHey, pleased to see you here and more than happy you read me first Ayesha. All the best.

Chris

[Dave Brown]

essentially, I always rise before the sun
watching it catch the tree tops in the morning is a treasure.
Even if you actually do miss the sun rising on that rare occasion, you have more than made amends with this very very nicely done bit of poetry.
I often feel it is a pity these thingys get posted and in a week or so are gone and mainly forgotten.
This is too nice to forget and should somehow be meshed into the mind's fabric to last on and on
Beautifully done Chris

[Chris Shaw]

What a lovely review Dave. Thank you so much.

Chris

[lightsong]

I wish I have written this... and when I die I wish to die like this, in a peaceful dreamy sleeping...

another Magnificent Masterpiece from your Golden sparkling pen. Remarkable the least to say...

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you dear lightsong for your continued encouragement and support. You are a blessing.
read moreThank you dear lightsong for your continued encouragement and support. You are a blessing.

Chris

[Eilis]

This poem has an interesting effect on me. I felt it two ways. It seems like someone speaking after death on the one hand—seeing things as though they are being lifted away and having the view change inch by inch. But also like someone still living but moving through different states of awareness. I want to say clarity grows, but also I can’t escape the sense of regret we begin with.

Perhaps as time goes on, we become better able to forgive ourselves for what we see as our mistakes. Not giving enough time or attention to the smaller things is, I think, a regret most have at some point. But life presents challenges we have to live through before we have the luxury (strange word, I know) of time and space to regret.

I felt the speaker was at a place where the regrets but also the self-forgiveness could be acknowledged. I think one of the things that sets us apart from other mammals is this sense of being able to think about things in a backwards and forwards manner. To consider the past as something we have power to change. Of course we know we can’t change it, but we think of ways we can change ourselves to try to alter the impact we feel we’ve had in the past.

I like the way the poem seems to explore this. It seems to move through different stages of awareness and find itself at a place of letting go. Which is, I suppose, a place we all have to make it to someday if we want peace. I always enjoy the depth of your poems, Chris.

[Chris Shaw]

Dear Eilis, thrilled that my poem can generate such indepth thoughts. You have certainly covered much ground. I thank you loads for your interest.

Chris

[jacob erin-cilberto]

To me, there is a love of nature so strong...and the speaker gets away from the hustle and bustle

of life in a city....gets away to where all sounds are nature...being at piece...nothing left to mourn...it was like being in heaven before dying....but dying of bliss, in a way.
love this poem,
j.

[Chris Shaw]

Ah that love of nature, how true that is. Many thanks J. Pleased you like this one.

Chris

[Patricia]

Very well written Chris! Great lines, great rhythm and flow, I love the repetition of “I was”… it all has such a surreal feel to it but very real feelings that are so moving.

[Chris Shaw]

Thank you dear friend for your positive comments. You are appreciated.

Chris