In Dreams

This was written because of a dream I had, where I felt my late Mother's presence, but wasn't QUITE sure if it was real or a dream. It also came from some feelings I had about a past love who I was missing at the time.

In Dreams

 

I awaken from a dream and the 1st thing that I do:

Look at the pillow next to me and check to see if you

Are lying there beside me, or if am alone.

But once again I realize that you are really gone.

In dreams, all things are possible and time can just stand still.

We hold on tight to feelings that we have, and hope it's real,

But, light of day brings truth and then we know without a doubt,

That what we dreamed was something that we have to live without.

We tightly cling to hope and yet we know when we awake,

We must accept the fact that the decisions that we make

Are painful, yet we know that we must see the bitter truth

Far clearer than we did, back in the golden days of youth.

Sometimes I sense you close to me in sleep, although I know

That it is just a dream, yet I can feel you in the glow

Of mornings light, and I am so afraid that when I wake,

This feeling will be gone, and I have made a big mistake.

There is a scent that lingers and I know that it is you.

The smell is so familiar that it feels like Deja' Vu.

When at last my eyes are open and into the dark I stare,

I lie there in my room knowing you're not really there.  

I see your face before me and I think I feel your touch,

But, it's just a waking memory of the love I miss so much.

I try to keep from waking, so I keep my eyes closed tight,

Hoping that the dream I had will stay til past dawn's light.

As long as I am sleeping, then I know you cannot leave,

But, once I am awake I'll understand, and start to grieve.

The time we had was fleeting and no matter how I try,

I cannot comprehend that you have gone... and said goodbye.

In my dreams, you hold me in your arms against your chest.

I hear and feel your heartbeat and I know that I am blessed,

To feel the love I felt for you, although the time has passed,

In dreams, our love's as timeless as the sea, and just as vast.

I do not want to wake and find that you were never here,

And all the feelings I have felt were nothing more than fear:

Fear of losing something that I never really had,

And of knowing when I wake that I will once again be sad.

So, I pretend to be asleep and hope that you will stay

In my dreams and memories, and never go away.

As long as I can keep my eyes closed tight, I cannot see,

The fact that you have gone and there is no one here but me.

The dark will hide reality and in my mind you'll stay

Beside me, and our love will last until my dying day.

I try so hard to stay within the boundaries of sleep.

Afraid of waking; just to find that I will start to weep.

When I reach up to touch your face and know it's just a dream,

No nightmare can compare to what I feel, and then I scream…

I'm back in bed alone, although I have been all along.

You seemed so real; I don't know how I could have been so wrong.

But we know that all good things must now come to an end.

Our dreams are no exception; they're no more than pretend.

Although they seem so real at times, we can't ignore the fact,

That life goes on; our dreams are gone and won't be coming back.

My eyes at last are open, and I feel you fade away.

I still can hear your heartbeat in the dawn of this new day.

I lie there thinking, in the darkness just before the dawn

Was it just a dream... or was it real? And then, I yawn…

I throw the covers back and stretch, and slowly start my day.

I force myself to rise and be the person I portray.

I know that there are things in life we'll never understand.

Like love and pain and death, and why things never go as planned.

But, always there…in the farthest reaches of my mind,

I still remember how it felt when we were intertwined.

I know that once my day is past and I am home again,

I'll be looking forward to the time together we will spend

In dreams, when once again I feel your heartbeat next to mine.

And maybe this time you will stay, and there will be a sign…

That hope is never ending and dreams can still come true,

And I will wake to find that you were dreaming of me, too.

Author's Note

I am an amateur, having just started writing a couple of months ago. I had this undeniable urge to put something on paper, and have only recently shared these with anyone. I have no idea if they are any good at all. After a break up with a boyfriend, all these feelings came pouring out, and I don't know where they are coming from. I appreciate the chance to share my feelings with others in this way.