Superficial

I totally dropped a knife last night while preparing dinner, and it pricked my leg, and this poem came out of me.

I watched as the knife fell,

pricking my leg on the way down,

leaving a burning sensation

until the cut finally formed drops of blood

no bigger than grains of sand.

And I placed a bandage

on the tiny wound,

pretending that a piece of plastic

could actually take the hurt away,

making me think of you,

wondering if you are the plastic

or the superficial wound.

Reviews

[Liam]

Wow I like the ending, very good!

[Antonio Valentino]

Come here I'll kiss you boo boo for you... Muah!

Does that feel better now?

What! It feels worse?!

Sorry (that's right I ate that chile pepper for lunch oops!).

The wounds you can't see usually hurt the most.

Great poem!

[PianoandPage]

wow. what a subtle gut punch at the end there. bravo!

i love the sort of casual report on the incident ... and then the poet's mind strikes!

[Janice Ann]

OUCH! Not because of the cut, but the last two lines really rocked the emotions! It is a very critical thought, and that is fantastic! Great write! The point is straight forward and so is the hurt!

Janice Ann

[Steve Thompson]

some rough feeling in that piece, and the point can be seen through your words. I can paint a picture while reading this piece.

[Constance]

This is very nice, this spontaneous flow. Some of the most eloquent thoughts do come this way.
I think the tense of "were" in the last two lines, if changed to are, would make the poem ring more active, as well as removing the first word of those lines, and.
That being said, this is an excellent expression, and the metaphor is clear and lucid. Thank you for sharing. :)