A Eulogy for Andrew

My son passed away on July 28, 2025... after a reaction to his medicine... these are my frail words trying to make sense of it all...

“Children are a gift from the Lord; they are His reward.” ... Psalm 127:3

I am Chelsea and Andrew’s father. And there is nothing I could ever do...no accomplishment, no other title...that brings me more joy than being their dad.

A few months ago, I left my job to care for Andrew full-time. I didn’t know how short the time would be, but I am so grateful I had that opportunity. We got to go to the community center each day. We went to Walmart twice a day. I got to see him take his walks around the neighborhood 10 or 20 times a day. We got to be together...and work for better things.

Today we remember Andy…
Andy the gamer.
The stargazer.
The psychology student.
The world walker.
The author.
The comedian.
The deep thinker.
The coffee drinker.

We remember Andy...our precious son, loving brother, cousin, nephew, grandson, friend, and neighbor. And we remember Andy as one who suffered greatly these past few years with schizophrenia.

Today, I’m wearing his favorite Birkenstocks and a replica of his Jupiter t-shirt. It’s a replica because if I wore his original, well-worn one, it would be a crop top… and nobody needs to see that. I don’t know how many miles he walked in these sandals… but I know our neighbors saw him in them...day and night. He walked and walked… saying hello to those he saw… sometimes trying to process what he was experiencing, sometimes trying to push through the pain.

Just a few weeks ago, on a walk, I asked him to tell me about Jupiter...his favorite planet. He started by telling me that the core is hotter than the surface of the sun. That each layer of Jupiter is distinct...even in how they smell. And that Jupiter’s powerful gravity deflects or captures comets and asteroids, protecting Earth from their impact. That was Andy...fascinated by the universe. Intelligent, curious, and filled with wonder.

But along with his diagnosis came cruel and relentless voices...speaking pain into him daily. If you’ve seen A Beautiful Mind with Russell Crowe, you know a small piece of what he faced every day, from the moment he woke up until he went to sleep...voices and visions, often of those who had been most cruel to him.

In recent months, the voices grew darker. They said things like, “Andy, we have to kill you.”
Imagine carrying that. Imagine trying to function in a world that often didn’t understand.
And yet… he was kind. He showed gentleness in the middle of agony. He loved. He was still full of joy in moments. He still laughed. Then so quickly it all changed when he had a reaction to his meds… and we didn’t realize what had happened until it was too late.

I’ve thought about all the things he will miss…
Holidays with family and the freezing Silver Dollar City Christmastime.
Finishing his psychology degree and becoming a counselor.
Writing his sci-fi novel where each character suffered from mental illness.
Going down the KaPau Plummet at White Water.
Drinking his oatmeal cookie chai from Hometown.
Walking alongside the river at Dogwood Canyon.
Eating his linguini tutto mare from Vito’s.

But then I realized… he’s not missing a thing. He is not missing joy.
He is experiencing it in its fullness.
We are the ones who will miss him in all those places.
We are the ones aching for his presence.

C.S. Lewis once wrote:

“We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and pleasure and ambition when infinite joy is offered us...like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea.”

Lewis reminds us that even the best things of this life can’t compare to what God has prepared for His children.

Andrew is no longer in the mud puddles of this world. His suffering is over. And now, it would be incredibly selfish of me to want him back here...to suffer in this world only more.
He is at his holiday at the sea… in perfect peace.
He sees and knows the fullness of God’s love in a way we can’t yet grasp.
No more pain. No more sorrow. Only joy.

On Christmas Eve, our family always watches A Christmas Carol.
Our favorite version...of course...is The Muppet Christmas Carol.
I could whistle a tune from it in July, and Andy would immediately start singing the lyrics.

There’s a moment in the story...after Tiny Tim’s death is shown to Scrooge...when Bob Cratchit speaks of his son with aching love:

“We must never forget Tiny Tim, or how patient and mild he was, although he was a little, little child. We must remember his patience and his mildness, and we shall never quarrel easily among ourselves and forget poor Tiny Tim in doing it.”

And so, though my words here will soon be forgotten and we’ll all go back to our lives… I ask you just one thing:
When life feels heavy…
When you're tempted to choose anger or cynicism or cruelty…
Remember Andy.
Remember a young man who suffered deeply and still chose kindness.
Still chose love.
Still chose to go on.
Remember him… and choose to be kind.
Say thank you.
Hold the door open.
Smile, even when sorrow presses in.

It is said that sad birds still sing.
Andy did. And we can too.
Not because it’s easy...but because it matters.

I am Chelsea and Andrew’s father.
I will miss Andy every day. The places we used to go together feel incomplete now.

But we hold tight to the Lord’s hope that this is not the end of his story...
and not the end of ours.
We’ll see him again, whole and radiant.
Until then… we’ll remember…

And maybe love just a little deeper.

Author's Note

Still feeling a bit lost...

Reviews

[Belle]

Thank you for sharing this, truly. As a reader and fellow human being, I want to say that your words carry a depth of love and grief that is both heartbreaking and inspiring. The way you remember Andy,
his curiosity, his laughter, his kindness even in suffering, reminds all of us what it means to love fully, even when life is cruel. Your honesty, your faith, and the tender way you hold his memory invite us to reflect on our own capacity for compassion, patience, and gratitude.

I am deeply moved by your courage to live with such a loss while still celebrating his life. Your message doesn’t just honor Andy, it teaches all of us how to carry sorrow with grace and to choose kindness, no matter how heavy life feels. Thank you for letting us witness your love and your hope.

[An owl on the moon]

I so deeply appreciate your thoughts, your kindness, your understanding. And I am still learning those lessons... still learning to choose to show love and kindness no matter how I feel. Wishing you now such a bright, beautiful New Year.

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

A beautiful eulogy to your dear son. I’m very sorry for your loss and yes you will be reunited again I’m certain of it. May you grieve and remember the times you had with him with joy xx

[An owl on the moon]

Julie... thank YOU. Every day I remember... and look forward to the DAY I will see him again. 🌹

[Chris Shaw]

A heartfelt eulogy for Andy. I am so very sorry for your loss Craig. A tragedy that he has gone far too soon. The loss of a child, the hardest of all to navigate. Look after yourself while you grieve and may his memory remain a beautiful blessing to you always.

Chris

[An owl on the moon]

Dear Chris, I am grateful for your kindness. Trying to keep focused on his memory... on keeping it alive. May your week bring you such peace now.

[Lilly]

Oh Craig - I am so, so, sorry to hear of the passing of your son. I can only imagine this pain, and pray it’s getting a little easier to carry for you, and those that knew Andrew. How lovely of you to share your eulogy with us. Andrew sounds like a brilliant soul.
And it sounds like we would all do well to try and be a bit more like him too.
Wishing you and yours comfort and peace 🤍

[An owl on the moon]

Lilly... so grateful to find your words here. Thank you... for your encouragement and hope... needing so much peace right now. Wishing you so much wonder.

[Marie Anzalone]

I am so very sorry for your loss.
I know the edges of what he had to live with. Rona has forced me to live with a smattering of the same, the cruel voices telling you, nothing you do will ever matter, will ever be enough. The world is better off without you. It is not a weakness. It is neaiobiology hijacking itself and taking you hostage.
I struggle three times a day, ervy day, with giving up. And people laugh in my face for it.

And still.. I cannot even pretend to knwo the depth of the horror he lived with, and the courage you gave him to love so deeply despite it.

YOU made the difference. My own family has barely spoken to me in years. You were there, through it all, and I commend you so much for that. The world took your son but they can never have your love, you hear me, friend? Keep being a light in the world, keep servign others, and he will always live through your love. I know a little about these things.

[An owl on the moon]

Dear Marie, thank YOU... truly... these past weeks have been so difficult. But I know how much he suffered... Now... wanting you to find the peace you deserve... the encouragement and strength you deserve. No one should suffer alone. Made me ache to see that your family rarely speaks to you... you are such a wonder. Let us rise up and keep the light so bright.

[Gee]

I am so, so sorry for your loss. No parent expects to outlive their children, God only know the heartbreak you are feeling.

It is a beautiful eulogy but one that should never have been written.

Take care

[An owl on the moon]

I appreciate your kindness so much. Struggling lately... missing him... trying to keep his memory with me. Take good care of you please.

[Sami Khalil]

I was shocked and saddened to read this eulogy; words can not express my condolences to you and yours.
I know and can tell you raised him good to be such an outstanding, talented individual.
I hope you all find peace and understanding in these difficulties.
Be blessed.

[An owl on the moon]

Thank you, dear friend. It has been a bit overwhelming here lately... trying to find myself again. Your words are so welcome.

[Brad Dehler]

Sorry to hear about your loss. This is a heart breaking eulogy. Absolutely heart filled. Then it breaks again. I hope all the consolation in the world. And the peace of heaven for you and yours.

[An owl on the moon]

Brad, so grateful you stopped by... grateful for your kindness. I look forward to reading your soul's words here.

[Brad Dehler]

THANK YOU!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. May God strengthen and console you with peace of mind and spirit. I have no words to express my empathy but I am a dad and a grandfather and I can't imagine the depth of your loss in my heart. It's simply too painful. But faith shines in darkness and hope lives. You must also live and live for him because he would want it that way. Our greatest memorial is our life after all, the testament of our existence. And using that to honor our loved ones living with us and living beyond is a proper and respectful thing to do I think until we can go to be with them.

[An owl on the moon]

Dear Fabian, thank you for your encouragement and kindness. Truly grateful for your words. And yes... this I will do... for him. I promise. BLESSINGS.

[Fabian G. Franklin]

You are a fine man and a kind and generous person. I'm honored to call you my friend. Bless you. F.

[Stella Armour]

Craig 💔
I really don't know what to say , you and he both so brave in the face of such torment.
Words cannot express the impact i felt reading this ....i know it will stay with me for a long time in my quiet thoughts .
Love and healing thoughts to you and your family ....

[An owl on the moon]

Stella, I appreciate your words so much... your caring heart. Thank you for being here. For lifting us.