Lost

Trying to find something that was lost forever

I saw her in the morning light

half iridescent

I am sure it was she

And as I slowly struggled through the day -

wandering,

There were birds and trees and

everything else

Moonlight too

  Like cups of tea

    Broken pieces all around

As I stepped through

to find her silent voice

And when twilight hit the sky -

When gray was white

And the Sun was suddenly sunk

  When coldness and fear

  were masterful all around

  (shiverings too)

I sought her out

She was far

And she was dead

  And all the cries and wails and howls

  sank to the earth

  at every dry spot

While she lay still

- Completely dead.

Author's Note

I am not sure what prompted me to write this, probably sadness, melancholy and deep sighs. Please let me know what you like and what you don't.

Reviews

[.]

. this is breathtakingly beautiful poetry ... it lingers, it haunts, it captivates, and is just too poignant for me to express in words ... i've read it thrice since you posted it ... and each time i am overwhelmed by the intensity you express ... i know this feeling ... and i know how it feels to feel it ... you did a remarkable job of being expressive ... and the rendition is very skillful ... the line breaks ... the progression of thought ... the beginning ... the end ... and your amazing vocabulary of poetic expression ... all work ...

[.]

pain seeps out of this write..it's dark and mysterious..interesting read

[Dani]

Like cups of tea
Broken pieces all around
As I stepped through
to find her silent voice

The whole second stanza is a silent bullet... rarely do I find anything on this site that truly leaves me empty, but surely, you've done it. There's an absense in this poem.. not that it's incomplete, but the way it makes the reader feel shows the effect of the sincere emotion you weaved into your words. Brilliant.

[Inkcognito]

"to find her silent voice"... this line says it all...brilliant! ...I agree with Serah...and all encompassing write.

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

you create an exceptionally vivid aura of the searching heart on her journey through the terrains of melancholy~ and, despite the sadness, pressing forward~until the end finds one back at the beginning of cyclical existence~
beautiful~

[Light]

this is amazing! the first part of this poem where you're searching for this soundless voice. it seems like you're literally lost. it captures that feeling wonderfully. i don't understand where "cups of tea" fit in. you could take that out; shatter the moon and walk upon that! this is your imagination do whatever you want! in the second stanza i liked where the Sun is setting, likes the lights are going out, but you're still lost. i felt from there this kinda strays off from lost to death and switches from dark to morbid and i'm not really sure why. i think i may have taken your author notes far too literally. lol...sorry

-light-

[Laha]

I really like the imagery of "I saw her in the morning light"....this attention grabbing line made me want to read more. Well done. I also enjoyed following your subject through his/her day. This created a journey and ultimatley, a destination. I would like to read some more after the second stanza..I'm still curious about the "broken pieces"
thanks for sharing this :)