faith

If i was to jump would i make a leap of faith?

If i was a bird would i just fly away?

If the world was hollow would i feel any different now?

If she had succeeded would i be here?

If there is a plan why can i not stick to it?

If i repeatedly  screw up will you all walk away?

when can i pat myself on the back and say

you know what, i actually did ok?

 

Reviews

[..R.I.P..]

I loved it. It speaks the truth and you wrote it from the heart. Way to nail it on the head.

[Dara[DRAMATIC]]

Fantastic content though some aspects of the deliverance is lacking. Mostly I think the errors in punctuation, capitalization, etc. need to be fixed and that will help the poem to be more easily read. The words flow well, except for one passage that is a bit muddled for me. When you say "didn't feel so hollow" in line 3, I can't be sure if you are trying to say that the world isn't hollow but you in particular feel that it is, in which case i would use "didn't seem so hollow", or that it actually is hollow, in which case I would use "wasn't so hollow" instead. The other thing was that on line 6 (If I repeatedly screw up, would you walk away), one of two things needs to change. Either "screw" must change to "screwed" or "would" must change to "will", so that the grammatical aspects of his passage will all be nice and neat and tidy. Other than those few small things, it's a marvelous piece of work. Keep writing!

[fallendemonofmercy]

wonderful image of how some of us fall off the wagon, make mistakes and refuse to let them go.
i loved this truth.