No One

He was not happy

He wanted to know

Dreams of knowledge

Made him a restless soul

He traveled and traveled

And saw a wiseman

He started to question everything he can

He became unhappy and found a place

Then he lost himself and went to a happy space

Meditation and prayers kept him alive

Then he thristed for more and said goodbye

He went to the forest and made a new home

Where he could could think and stay without any rules,

He thought and thought and wanted to find himself

But didn't know what to do since there was no one else.

Reviews

[Melanie Jane Boicourt S..]

Some parts of the poem seem a little off to me but I like it still. It is the timing and flow. The idea is good but it strays from rhyme and goes from long to short sentences and confuses it's form. I am not an expert so don't take my word for it. Maybe try counting syllables and giving it a little more form or make it more free flowing without really rhyming at all and just let it flow. That is what the character is doing, "flowing through life". Don't take my critiquing to heart. See, I don't even know how to spell critiquing.
Oh, speaking of spelling, you left the s out of forest.
Please don't hate me!!!
Love All, Mejasha