Roman Candle

A snuff of a poem.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Roman Candle

I lost your Respect

Soon I felt Like your Creepy

Crawly Insect

Dodging your repellant

Your constant inspection

 

Once spoon

Fed the

Nourishing

Golden honey

Of your endless love

 

Without notice

Left in the cold

Abandoned

With a mighty shove

Left without money

 

 

How could love

As hot as a

Roman candle

Fizzle out to be

Cold and lifeless

As a frozen pan handler?

 

You were my

Manna from heaven

Now you’re my bite

Of bitter unleavened bread

 

Most days I

Walk around

like I'm dead

Without you

In my bed

To caress

 

How could such

Loving things be said,

When none of them

Could possibly be kept?

 

Because of you

I’ve

Wept

     Wept

          And Wept.

 

Didn’t I

Deserve an

Ounce of

Your respect?

 

 

Author's Note

I wrote this a few months ago. I've worked on it off an on. I couldn't get it out of my head. It still needs a little polishing. Let me know what you think.

Reviews

[Eagle Cruagh]

I firmly believe the best poetry is what
comes out of your head replete with all
mistakes. Every part of it has something
to do with what you were feeling when it
was written, to change a word changes the
meaning in some way.
This poem suggests that you were abused,
that you gave yourself to a man who turned
out to be a louse. Don`t change it.
Your poem is magnificent as it stands.
------- Eagle Cruagh

[Judas Hammer]

nice poem, It sucks when its over all that was bright; is now so dark. Good write

[Jvl narasimharao]

The poem suggests that the protagonist has been deceived by her lover but still loves him.A nice poem on love and the pain associated with it

[.]

polished enough..think the pain is evident.

[emmajoy]

Love the format and the intended sharing .. appreciate the terrible emotions, know how they are .. admire the strength of what seems to be pay-back time .. can't help feeling that there's more than a space of truth in it. Fine writing, Marie .. truly.

[Norma M Sutton]

I like it. The comparisons are spot on and to the point.

[...]

Wow deep and profound.
I enjoyed reading this write.
Excellent!!

[Shep]

I liked it very much and felt the raw energy from it.

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

A varied and tempered mass of solid rhyme and reason, a greatly worded piece, well done, good read.

[John Jackson (El Juero)]

I hate it when that happens!

[Dayran]

Nice!