Mike

Wrote this one after an interesting conversation with a homeless man near UCLA. Turned it in for class, but didn't get any feedback. I kind of like it, though. A little more human than my other stuff.

He said he was from

Kentucky.

When I asked

how he ended up here,

laughed.

 

“Long story.”

 

Three teeth,

I counted.

All bottoms.

And his beard was

souring.

 

“Pray my momma gets saved.”

 

I told him

I would,

sure thing,

and smiled at all

his jokes.

 

“I keep people from jaywalking.”

 

Or something like that:

I couldn’t quite hear.

 

It didn’t matter;

I wanted to see

his eyes light up,

so I grinned.

Author's Note

Anything on this would be appreciated.

Reviews

[Truman S. Booth]

I love the simplicity and the casual feel. We all know how awkward it can be talking to a homeless person. "I wanted to see his eyes light up" is a great line. It really shows your sympathy and quickly explains why you're taking time to talk to him. The organization is very well done, especially adding his quotes. I really like the overall feel--it succinctly presents several ideas to its audience with a simple, thoughtful story.