Inside(Out)

Alter Ego coursework for English - (the short one)

I felt the need to change rise inside of me. Around me my friends laughed and talked, their mouths gaping holes, emitting empty sounds that ran through me, fuelling the hate as I struggled to control the monster raging inside.

            “They cannot see me, you can’t let them see me,” you whispered in my mind, only making it worse as I felt a pang of annoyance toward you.

            Only half an hour. The thought made me reel, how could I possibly survive that long with you tormenting me.

            “I can’t help it,” you reminded me, “It’s who I am.”

            I resisted the temptation to answer you, biting my tongue hard, to stop the words from escaping. Only half an hour. The time passed slowly. The minute hand barely moving as I sat in a state of anxiety, fearing the moment when someone would turn and notice me, speak to me. If that happened, I was finished; there was only so much I could do to control my anger, to control you.

            Twenty minutes. Sarah turned to look at me, a half smile on her face, but I twisted away, burying my head between the pages of my book before she got it into her head to come over.

            Fifteen minutes. Anya looked up, her lips already poised to ask me a question. My heart galloped, how could I stop her, how could I make her leave me alone. Why couldn’t she leave me alone? Why couldn’t they all just leave me alone?

            No. No, I mustn’t get angry. But something in my face had put Anya off speaking to me, and she turned instead to Lillian, with a slight flick of her dark hair. I breathed. Now only thirteen minutes to go.

            “Claire,” your voice was tense, strained.

            No. I sent the word loud to you through my thoughts. You mustn’t. Not yet. But:

            “Claire,” you were sounding worse every second, soon I wouldn’t be able to stop you and you would take control of my body, revealing our dangerous secret to a class of just over thirty other students. You sounded scared enough at that point, but I knew that as soon as you took control of me the blood lust would be too much for you, it would control you and all hell would break loose. You didn’t want to disobey me, it wasn’t something you chose, but you had as much control over it as I did over you when you were released: none.

            Hold on.

            “Claire, I can’t,”

            “You must!” my voice was a hiss and a couple of heads turned looking for the source of the noise.

            You must not reveal us! But already I could feel small shock waves travelling up and down my spine. It was going to happen. It was going to happen right here in the middle of school. Right here in the middle of my RS class.

            Please. The word was barely a whisper, it was all I could manage, you were taking control and I felt suddenly weak. Please.

            “I’m sorry.”

And then it happened. I was halfway to the door, knowing it to be my only chance of escape, when it happened. Every head was already turned toward me and each now gave a horrified gasp as they watched us change. Us. Because suddenly, to them, it appeared that there was more than one of me: the real solid looking me, and a fainter image similar to me but with a few crucial differences.

You had the same hair as me, the same body as me, but your face, instead of having the same full cheeks and grey blue eyes, was a cold, hollow cheeked mask. Angular bones showed bluntly through the grey skin of your face, and dark shadows hung beneath the black-blue pools that were your eyes. You were a horror to look upon, your head giving off the impression of a grey-white skull with a full head of hair.

For a moment you stood, curled slightly in on yourself, as I froze glass eyed and rigid beside you; and then your image was overlapping my own, superimposed it would seem from outside, while on the inside it felt as though we were being fused together.

            A second later you stood alone in the middle of the classroom, your eyes hungry as you glared at the classmates you so hated, so despised. You opened your mouth wide in a stretch that showed all of your sharp white teeth, and rolled your head upon your neck, producing several sharp clicks. Around you more gasps, whimpering; one girls face was set in a silent scream, and many others looked close to fainting.

            You stretched, flexing your muscles, enjoying the power that your hatred and anger gave to you. This was going to be easy for you. Sweet revenge. Retribution at last.

            So many times you had come close to this moment, but every other I had managed to get you away, take you to a safe place where they was no one you could hurt. No one you could kill. But now you were free. Free at last, to do whatever you pleased.

            A slow smile spread across your features, you were going to enjoy this. Already you could taste the blood, the only thing that would cool the thirst of your anger, and you reached over for the light switch - you had always been melodramatic and here was your chance to have a little fun.

            As your finger touched the small plastic rectangle you whispered to me inside your head.

            Sorry Claire, but it’s my turn to be in control.

            The light went out. Screams erupted. And inside you, unable to stop the imminent massacre, I let out a long howl of pain for the damage I had failed to prevent.

Reviews

[Beatrice Mars]

woah....
You stretched, flexing your muscles, enjoying the power that your hatred and anger gave to you. This was going to be easy for you. Sweet revenge. Retribution at last.
i'm speechless....can't say how amazing i thought it was........

[Eira Anchor]

woww
i'm LOVING the description of your alter ego. So that's what anger looks like. such a freaky image! ugh! i just can't get over it! it's brilliant