Hell

Not too pleased with this one.

Whose eyes are these that I look through

At skies of bloodied blue

Whose hands are these that are shaking

As I see the world anew

 

The ground beneath my feet is dry

The sands move fast as they pass by

The winds blowing the tiny grains

Over and over

And over again

 

What world is this?

I whisper

What world am I now in

This place is new and different

This place is full of sin

 

The sands that shift beneath my feet

Are thick with buried bones

And where the ground and skyline meet

I see no trees, nor stones

 

This place is but a desert

Here nothing dares to grow

This land is flat and blistered

But I’ve nowhere else to go

 

The bloodied sky is dripping now

Hot drops that scorch my skin

And soon I can’t help wondering

If this is Hell I’m in

 

Because now I start to think of it

I see flames in the corner of my eye

And the hunched form of a figure

Silhouetted against the sky

 

He’s neither tall nor short

Neither fat nor thin

And his voice is like scratching nails

As he speaks ‘It’s Hell you’re in’

 

And now the sands too hot for feet

The sky’s too bright and blue

The air is thin and bitter

And suffocating too

 

And he’s watching me

And he’s laughing

And there’s nothing I can do

And he’s all hunched up

And ugly

And the sky’s no longer blue

 

It’s black.

 

Not nice black

But empty black

Airless black

The kind of black that fills your throat

Sticking like tar

And you can’t breath

And it’s in your eyes

And you can’t see

 

And you’re dead

You’ve got to be dead

But you’re not

And you can still feel

The ache in your bones

And the screaming of your lungs

And you keep thinking

This is my last second

And at first it’s a shame

But then the last second doesn’t come

And you’re still alive

And you’re still in pain

And you’re screaming without noise

And you’re breathing in the tar

And suddenly you’re longing

For it, for this, to be you’re last second

 

But it never is.

And the pain goes on.

And the wind blows the sand

And the sand covers another body

Another lost soul.

But this time it’s you.

Only…

It’s me.

Me.

I’m the broken screaming body

Being swallowed by the sand

I’m the one longing for the end

I’m the one he’s laughing at:

The Devil

As he stands

Commanding the sands

Commanding the skies

Commanding my eyes

To look at him as I drown

And see upon his head

Blackened bones that form a crown

 

He is the Devil,

King of Hell,

And I am drowned in sand.

Reviews

[Shellie]

I really like this one, you have a way with words. It was long but not monotonous, and it really is quite good. The only thing I think is, you should sort it into all rhyme or no rhyme...but then i thought it would have to be changed and if its changed it wont make the same mark.