FAT kid

I’m walking down the street

And I can hear their voices

Stage whispers

Pretending they don’t know I can hear

FAT kid

FAT kid

That’s me

I’m the FAT kid

 

‘You know that girl?

The HUGE one?’

 

FAT kid.

 

‘She’s like literally WHALE size…?’

 

FAT kid.

 

I’m in the lunch line

And I can hear their voices

A hissing

Low but unmistakable

 

‘Oh great FAT kid’s going to eat all the food

We might as well leave now

There’s not going to be anything left.’

 

But they don’t.

They stand there sniggering.

 

FAT kid.

 

I grab a salad.

Head down as I walk past.

They laugh raucously.

FAT kid going on a diet?

 

I’m in gym.

Arms wrapped around myself

Trying to hide

In too small gym shorts

(They didn’t have my size…

They NEVER have my size…)

 

Skinny girls

With skinny legs

And flicky hair

Smile angelically

Barely disguising their laughs

Behind concealing hands

And sudden coughing fits

 

FAT kid.

 

Everyone stands back to watch

When it’s my turn

To jump the vault

 

‘Watch out girl’s

FAT kid’s practicing

Her belly flop’

 

FAT kid.

 

‘Stand back everyone

You might get SQUASHED’

 

FAT kid.

 

‘Eeeewww look at her arms

They’re WOBBLING’

 

FAT kid.

 

‘It’s like JELLY!’

 

FAT kid.

 

It’s drilled into me

Everyday

Replayed in my head

Every night

 

And I can’t escape it

 

So I swallow my fears

With packets of crisps

Drown my sorrows

In a few pints of cola

Some chocolate

To ease the pain

And biscuits to forget

The truth

 

FAT kid

Just keeps getting

FATTER

 

And the WHISPERS

Just keep getting

LOUDER

 

FAT kid.

FAT kid.

FAT kid.

FAT kid.

FAT kid.

FAT kid.

FAT kid.

 

 

 

…

 

 

 

FAT kid isn’t so FAT anymore.

Food betrayed her

So she gave up on it…

Completely.

 

She sits in a hospitable bed

Ignoring the pleading of her red-eyed mother.

A tube in her arm

Feeds her the necessary nutrients.

 

She stares out the window

Ignoring the tray of food

Resting on the bedside table

Small stuff

Easy to swallow

 

But she can’t

            Won’t.

 

She’s not skinny

Not yet.

 

But she’s not HUGE either.

 

She can’t wait till she loses more weight.

She can’t wait to be skinny.

 

 

She can’t wait to see the look on all their faces…

 

Reviews

[Eira Anchor]

?
jeeze

[No More]

Oh my. What a powerful write. I felt so much pain reading this. You used the first person POV so cleverly, telling such a strong story in such short lines. I truly felt the pain of a crushed self esteem.

You did an amazing job. It was incredibly touching.

[Shellie]

Those sorry sorry looks.

Fantastic writing, Its brilliant!!!