Is It Any Wonder I'm Despondent?

A Poem by Cassidy Mask

I’m sitting

Face an inch from the bus window

Shoulder pressed hard against

The Perspex

So hard every jolt sends pain

Shooting down my arm

So hard I’m almost at one with the

Spinning wheels

And growling engine

So hard it’s almost an act of self harm

My headphones are shoved into ears

Angry music left over from a phase I went through

Turning my brain to a seething mess

Self-inflicted thought control

Making me think thoughts I shouldn’t

But it’s all good

Because I would never go back down that road

While I had other options

The music changes as I’m still glaring out

Of the scratched windows

A calmer song

Quieter

Generally better.

But my thoughts are caught

On something

I’d rather not contemplate

Something I’d rather not remember

(Because I’m prone to hopelessness)

A newspaper article about a young girl

In her teens

Shot dead.

And beside it