No Bad Thing

Driving on a

Spring evening

And we’re

Watching the world

Fall down

Watching the sky collapse

 

The water’s red

And the trees

Silhouetted against

The sky

Glow with a bloodied

Tinge

 

We’ve rolled the windows down

And the air on our faces

Is cool as it wakes us up

Wakes us from our

Dreaming state

 

The wind

Rips the tears from our

Crying eyes

And carves our

Helpless smiles

Into clown-like grimaces

 

Your hands on the wheel

Are white

With the force of

Your grip

And your forehead

Is wrinkled with emotion

Though

Staring at your profile

I can’t tell

Which emotion...

 

The engine roars

And as I stare in the wing mirror

At my blood red lipstick

And navy eyes

Wide with excitement

My lips form the words

With difficulty

 

‘I think...’

 

You look at me

And I see my wild

Excitement reflected

In your

Fine face

You smile against

The wind

 

‘You think...?’

 

I grin back

And take your hand

My painted lips at your ear

 

‘...that this is no bad thing.’

Reviews

[emmah]

it's the most lyrical verse i have read in quite a few days! the flow is pristine and the expression, beautiful. each line of the verse etches a soft, yet, crystal clear image - an image that is built and compounded in magnificent tones - like watching a gifted artist bring a canvas to life with the masterful strokes of a genius brush!
there are unforgettable visions - "the water's red", the trees that "glow with a bloodied tinge". there are grim visions too - everything in the fourth stanza, especially the carving of the "helpless smiles into clown-like grimaces" - exceptionally expressed. there are human and emotional visions - the hands that are white with the force of the grip and the forehead creased with emotion - the last four lines of the fifth stanza are stunning - the inability of the narrator to decipher the emotion, and yet, the unquestionable knowledge that it is a deep, powerful, intense one is biting.
and the brief verbal exchange that follows - an exchange that is, perhaps, mundane under usual circumstances - is so skilfully carved - constructed in the minutest detail, capturing the very essence of these few words in brilliantly myriad hues. the breakdown of the moments between the moments - one could almost live alongside this dialog - hear the blinking and the breathing too!! the smiles were felt - smiles that probably find their genesis in the comfort of proximity, a comfort of a shared universe, a comfort of an understood silence - smiles that really did say, even before the words did - "that this is no bad thing"!!!
i'm spellbound - as i read and re-read the verse - by the magical, intrinsic vision that it weaves!!!
it's stunning poetry!! brilliant!!

[Beatrice Mars]

Ummm what they said! You're amazing!

[EMP]

grrrrrrr. you're so good >:( this is reeally amazing,
"the sky glows with a bloodied tinge"
"the wind rips the tears from our crying eyes"
"my painted lips at your ear '... that this is no bad thing.'"
I LOVE IT ALLLLLLL.
goodness gracious this is brilliant.