Break Down.

I have my ups and downs. This was written in a down.

You know how

Every time I’d just

Grin and bear it?

How I’d say

You just have to

Get over it?

Is it too late to

Eat my own words?

Again.

 

Because

(Remember when I

Broke down? In tears.)

It’s happening again.

 

It was easy

When everyone else

Was there (to share the burden)

To make a fuss.

I just sat and

Watched. Grin and bear.

 

Now,

I’m alone in the

Air-con, with my

Crooked thoughts.

And the pain comes

More naturally,

More easily at least,

When it’s all my own.

To bear.

 

So I sit here,

My pen

My only company

And I tell it

Everything I wish

You could hear.

 

That, that time,

When I broke down

On your doorstep,

You saw, more clearly

Than ever,

What I really am.

 

Fear, pain, loneliness.

Inadequacy.

 

And I know that

I’ll ‘get over it’

Eventually.

I always do.

But I don’t find

That comforting:

The fickleness of human

Nature.

 

And I want you to know,

Before that happens,

The callousness,

The calm exterior, just

Hide the vital organs

Inside.

And my tear ducts

Give a more accurate

Measure of

My mind.

 

 

[I wish I’d never got

On that plane.]

Author's Note

(This is to all of YOU. I'm sorry.)

Reviews

[Beatrice Mars]

I wish you didn't get on it either, but please never feel inadequet (because that's so crazy a feeling i can't even spell it!) you're not...Although I'm hoping you're feeling better now and...and...and I love you lots and lots and I'm missing you and you're amazing and also I agree with everything Beth said

xxx

[EMP]

I hope you're okay.
You're stronger than you think you are (:
I envy that.
Can't wait for your letter and I hope everything's alright.

poem wise: really good. nice flow, the words come easily. brilliant