Your Words Remind Me (I'm Dead)

Would you believe me

If I said I knew

What it felt like to

Be a ghost?

Or would you give your

Indulgent smile

And despise me behind

Your patronising eyes.

 

Well I’m sitting here

Reading letters from a life

I left behind

And I’m feeling my fingers

Begin to fade

Beneath the folded page

Because

(Death is the only way out)

I’m not a part of that world

Anymore.

 

My lips are bared back

Over glistening wet teeth

My eyes wide and staring

As I scream

Without a sound

(Because I don’t exist)

And it feels like

Nothing will ever be right

Again.

Because I’m broken.

Dead.

 

Your words are like a slap.

A wake up call

As I doze in my gilded coffin.

The darkness greets me

With a frosty glance

And the realisation hits me

Like the very first time

(All over again)

 

My inexistent hands

Beat the box above me

But all I see

Is their confused eyes.

 

Because

They don’t know what I’ve lost.

 

 

I read your words about

A life I should be living

And even though

They killed me (again)

I drank them in like a drug

 

(Because it’s worth

The split second of life

Before I remember

I’m dead)

 

So I’ll walk around

This purgatory

Like I’m living

And I’ll ignore their confused faces

 

 

(And still

They don’t realise I’ve lost myself.)

 

Reviews

[Beatrice Mars]

I just let out a noise that was a bit like Zohmg...I love this, and can't believe I haven't read it before. (I was looking for something new and thought, oh claire has so much, there's probably something I haven't read that I can review...)

This is brilliant.

'My lips are bared back/Over glistening wet teeth/My eyes wide and staring/As I scream/Without a sound' I don't know why, but this made me think of a fish - there's A little montage of smeagul becoming gollum in, i think, the return of the king, and there's one shot where he's eating a fish, well this just made me think of that fish - I don't know why, i think it's the 'glistening wet teeth,' in this and that whole bit felt all despairing and hopeless and angry...

'And I’m feeling my fingers/Begin to fade/Beneath the folded page' I also love these lines, I'm not sure why, I think it's all the f's and the idea of watching yourself fade away...

I also like the image of waking up in a coffin, a sort of twisted re-birth and death cycle, which is kind of disturbing..and the whole being a half person, who's living but not living and no one notices, the feeling of this poem changes from angry, to resentful to resignation and so much more...I could ramble on about this for a while longer, but I'm not going to.

I loved it.

(Okay, so that wasn't really a review, just me gushing..but gushing is good, right?)