Death Had Ended Some Spell

Then everything changed.

I was sent to school. I wasn’t allowed out of the house after dark. I had set meals at regular times. It was as though Miss’ death had ended some spell we had all been under. And suddenly we had to be a real family. They even called me by my name, spoke to me directly… almost. It lasted a week. For a week I was ‘Liana’ I was their daughter. And then they snapped. The screaming started and I slipped away. I think they forgot me as soon as I was gone.

In my room I wrapped my arms around my thin shoulders. I had not cried since they emptied Miss’ house. Instead I felt empty. Aching phrases chased each other through my head.

She’s dead. She’s dead. She’s dead. It’s all gone. Gone. Gone.

I whimpered softly like a wounded animal. Like the skinny dogs that wandered the neighbourhood, starved and feral. I felt more animal than human.

I couldn’t understand how to act like a normal human. At school the other children made it look easy. But I couldn’t understand their rushing fluid speech, or the strange hierarchy that seemed to place me right at the bottom. I was used to being ignored, but not tormented.

I curled up beneath my tattered blanket and tried to become invisible.