Up And Up

Up and up

A hill that led to the sun

I watched your back

I would have followed you

Anywhere.

As we slipped beneath

The sky

I opened my eyes

To find I was burning

But that hardly mattered,

I would have followed anywhere.

 

The sun is on my skin

It scorches,

Its touch familiar

On the planes of my face

My forearms, my hands.

Up and up

That hill that led to the sun

And my tears evaporated

Before they fell.

Reviews

[perfectlyadapted]

I agree with Beatrice - the imagery is conceptually intriguing.
One criticism though: the omitted "you" from "I would have followed anywhere" is a bit distracting.

[Beatrice Mars]

'As we slipped beneath
The sky
I opened my eyes
To find I was burning'

I love this. The imagery of this whole poem is stunning, the idea of tears evaporating before they fall, i just love it all....< yeah, constructive reveiw, I know!
xx