Bring Me Back

bring me back

bring me back to the days when we reigned

we were the epitome of love and youth

we soared and nothing could cut our wings.

if only i had realized our days were numbered

i would've squeezed every bit of life from every minute

unaware inch by inch you moved further away

why couldn't i see? so naive.

you became just out of reach

the emptiness hit

i shattered

i'll never be the same

give me back my identity

give me back my life

give me back the love

bring me back

Reviews

[Sasha]

I can definitely sympathize with you for a number of reasons. I'm 20, I just started writing because of life experiences, and I've felt what the speaker is feeling in this poem. I don't think there are many people that haven't or won't at some point in their lives. Word for word, it feels like I could have written this in the name of my failed engagement - especially the second stanza. You did a great job of describing the feelings involved, but having been there made reading this an interesting experience. I can't tell how to improve because I appreciate it so much for what it is. I hope you continue writing.

[José Humilde]

well. It's a nice start. I think to make this poem stronger, you can stick with your metaphor that you used with a bird, flying.

I liked that. As I read on, to tell you the truth I was disappointed not to see it throughout the poem.

I'd say, figure out a way to incorporate that thought into your whole poem.

Thanks for sharing!

-JH