Causes

Just a weird form idea that came to mind as I was writing the piece, which obviously didn't seem natural in any other form? I dunno. :) My insomniacal mind does funny things. The words are true, though. :)

           Darling, what I want from you?

                                   No, what I want to cause you:

               laughter even when the sky is gray

                            smiles that make your lips feel

   they might split

       as you sit

 and think about... us

                             and what I don't want to cause:

          tears, from those eyes I adore

                any negative emotion in that lovely mind...

 

            I

 

                       want to                                    make the

                    walk into a room                         sun beam on you

                     your eyes reflecting it,                swept up in the we of it all

                     gleaming, twin azure moons              never doubting your decision,

                    prophesizing all we can be ((together)) as we truly commit to the fall-

                     All fear falling behind, day always breaking to a sun that feels more holy

                    than Sunday service, still astonishing as the moment when we discovered

                     we were two halves of a whole, disconnected before we stumbled in

                   to what should have been, for all this time- had we only known.

                  You... you are the heart and soul and core of who I am.

                   I... I understand the words that you can't always say.

                  We... will find that if we are always together.

                 Everything will work out, in its own way.

                 What is it I want from you, darling?

               Nothing less... all that we are.

               What I can cause you,

               What you cause me

                with your strong

               unyeilding

               love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

The heart form works best if you start with I and read down each separate side separately using I to start both. Then it comes together and you can read it straight. Also is a bit intriguing just read straight all the way through, though. Yeah, the form is weird with the first tornadic looking piece at the top. So sue me. I have insomnia, dangit!

Reviews

[Raja]

unique, subtle, wonderful, charismatic, and enjoying to read!

"still astonishing as the moment when we discovered

we were two halves of a whole,"

I like this part very much. It seems that you quite relished while writing this. This is present in your writing. I love it. Only, I have a question, "swept up in the we of it all..." is there an 'e' missing in the 'we'? or you would like to emphasize 'we' as a noun? This is just a query.

Thank you.

Raja.

[RareRed]

I like this. I like the idea that lies within. Two halves finding one another to become whole. Great write, I throughly enjoyed this.

[Emily Elizabeth]

Omigod!
Amazing poem.
Absolutely amazing!
First of all the form was unique and cute, and fantastic and went along with the theme.
Second of all this was brilliantly written!
Thanks for sharing this. It's amazing what flows out of insomnia sometimes!

[Legion]

Insomnia seems to be a crazy muse. I like the form. Kudos.

[Time Lapse]

Wow I like it,

nicely done.