The First Entry in a Dream Journal

In here, I write my dreams of,

rainy forests and flying over

the green streets, most dearest. 

Out,

in the morning dew.

Where, 

I flew over you.

I could see the people

beating their carpets 

and hanging their laundry.

Out, 

in the morning dew.

Where, 

I flew over you.

See for some reason, 

I had the fancy to,

fly far away from you.

Up, 

up,

in the night sky.

I ask myself, 

why? 

Oh, why?

Why did I 

fly so far away from you?

The answer had no meaning,

when I had hit the dream ceiling.

The stars were too distant 

and the mind was resistant,

neither could manage to,

get away from you.

I fell far away from you,

down,

down,

into the morning dew.

Reviews

[Madalyn Beck]

I felt like I saw flying while reading this. Very well done!

[Tina Louise UK]

Beautiful read, really enjoyed :) x

[CosminDZS]

Merci, I appreciate it :)

[PurpleQuartz]

You wrote it in the way that the reader felt like they were flying with you. Extremely well done!!!

[CosminDZS]

I'm glad you could come on the journey with me, much thanks

[Sarah Coll]

Amazing, it's fair to say I was totally indulged in this piece. I've actually read it over a few times and I can't pin down exactly what it is that I enjoy so much about it- probably the fact that there's nothing to not enjoy.
Brilliant write!

[CosminDZS]

Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful response!

[Coyote Poetry]

A beautiful poem for your dream journal. I like the places you took me to and the thoughts create by the poem. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[anna]

Oh wow, this is lovely. For me it doesn't create an image in my mind, it kind of creates a blank canvas in my mind of black with stars zooming by and it works very well with this piece, I love it! c:

[CosminDZS]

Hm, that's an interesting way to look at it Anna.

[Gaelan_Hamilton]

Lovely little piece, it had a sort of musical element to it. Felt like it could really suit having music along with it!

[CosminDZS]

Heh I guess you're right, it does have a musical tone to it. Maybe I was humming a tune along with it, who knows, and I thought I had no musical talent heh. Just don't ask me to sing it for you...

Much appreciated :)

[Scott Metro]

Couldn't you put it in both places ?
Very nice...seems a bit of a change up for you.

Enjoyed it.
Scott

[CosminDZS]

Unfortunately, the thing with pretentious literary magazines is that most only accept work that has not been "previously published". Which also includes anything posted on the internet! How does this piece seem different to you, Scott?

[Scott Metro]

Seems less cryptic...a little more earthbound ..less thinking involved to digest.
That's just my thoughts.....

[CosminDZS]

I would agree with you on that point, I guess I'm a little cryptic sometimes. Although it seems so clear when I spill it on the page. Thanks for the insight Scott, one of the few Ive received.

[Scott Metro]

:)
My pleasure my friend...

[CosminDZS]

withdrawn from a magazine submission for your reading pleasure