runninggg...

its coldd

the winds rushing across her cheeks as she races across city streets

the midnight sky dark with questions glittering like silver stars

unspoken answers hovering like golden pollution coming from porch lights

she races across bumpy roads

not looking backkk hoping shell never come back

sparkling cars race past

candy colored kids litter the streets

screaming and pukingg with too muchh to drinkk

old men hunched in corners

screaming for some monster

she races past complexes

hearing babys cry wanting something to eatt

children sitting waiting for mother

looking for thier father

she cant comee backk

she cant stay any longer.

Reviews

[Fabian Franco]

This has a good flow, Brilliant diction, Amazing imagery, and kept me captivated right to the end. Great job!

[Trevor]

it's urgent, it's filled with images, it's how poetry should be

[Walter Scott Morrison]

This is my type of poem. I love the dark wintry feel

[Trevor]

WOW! being so lost can feel incredible or what this poem is about. Very good Keep it up!

[Miss Coral]

Nice piece... the tone of escaping and running.. the tone of urgency was very well expressed in this. Nicely done. :)

The grammar mistakes were nicely placed, furthered the feeling of movement while also working well in the context they were put.


Nice job. c:

-Coral

[John Stussy]

Your escapism tone was very well portrayed. I've experienced something similar on a much slower, stretched out scale. Rather than running, I was walking at about 2 in the morning, and I heard so many sounds from various houses i passed, saw people driving by in what felt like slow-motion as they doggedly pursued fun, unaware of the sickly appearance their own escapism, alcohol, had given them. It was a thought-filled 4 hour walk, something I'm honestly not sure I want to experience again. It pissed me off that I'm trapped in this place, there's no escape as of yet. Another great poem.

[Bard Constantine]

Quite an enjoyable read. I liked the extra letters, which created the illusion of movement, as though I ran alongside as I read the poem. 'Candy colored kids'... I love your creativity. You are my kind of poet.

[Tony]

A fast paced poem filled with captivating and stark images. Excellent write!

[PianoandPage]

the repeated letters were very effective in conveying an out-of-breathh sort of shivery-chill stutterr that gave the piece an immediate atmosphere and realism.

your images are spot on. wow.

"the midnight sky dark with questions glittering like silver stars"

"candy colored kids litter the streets"

fantastic stuff.