rain

the rains beating at my window

as i stare outt i get up for a smoke

sitting in the porch the cold air surrounding me

i blow out thoughts and daydreams

fantasize about escape

and what would happen if i ran away

the earth is drinking upp

the soils wet and drunk

yet i sit here sober for another night

should i take a pill to sleep and if i do will i wake?

another dreamless night

everlasting with a blank mind

or shall i stay up all night watching rain as my mind races

eyes are tired but never close

for when my guard is down these demons dance around my bed

tearing my sheets off my sweaty skin

leaving me shaking and cold

the rain singing to me in my dreams

thunder shaking me from nightmares

lightning waking me for another drink

another shot

i hate this rain i wish it would drown me.

Reviews

[Edgar A Stonehill]

Your piece has a stirring nature to it. There is an abundance of first person references, but they flow naturally.

The ending was abrupt, and I thought the aspiration to drown detracted from it. It just seemed rushed, while everything else seemed calculated. Although only you know.

Thanks for sharing this piece.