.....

she said to me your a pretty little thing
it seems like you know
the way of the waves
and what the old people know
you must be mistaken dear
cause theres so much
so much i cant understand
so many questions
i need to know
know know know
she said to me love
i see in your eyes
there wise wise wise
your pupils have watched the way the crowds roll
and what direction they should go
in reply i answered
you must be wrong
cause im always walking the wrong way
and every day im lost again
she said oh honey i hear it in your voice
the scratchy way you speak
that the many winters youve seen and thoughts over cigarettes
you smoke
have changed your soul
oh dear it must be just a cold coming on
cause in california it never gets too cold.

Author's Note

i dont know if i like this haha

Reviews

[eli mercuree rue]

it's like just another moment..
and having the ability to
appreciate a moment
enough to capture it forever
is
a
highly attractive quality
i wished all humans possessed

we are all such a******s when it comes
to accepting
the compliments others give to us
[no one wants to really know they are what others see cos that sorta makes us a little less real a little more exposed and able to be probed amd categorized and less free to the ambiguity of knowing ourselves, thats why it's easier to see the qualities of others and not of ourselves well unless you realize what ive just typed and are actively shaping and directing the momentum of our life's energy.]

i doubt it if anyone ever likes there own poetry

mine embarrasses me sometimes if i read it and remember the random s**t that caused it to come into existence...


that "your" in the first line should you're or youre if you dont want punctuation

[...]

. oh, i love this ... you did a brilliant job ... the narrative just flowed ... and the end is to die for ... you took a profound conversation to a very fascinating practical dimension ... there are so many times that we take ourselves too seriously ... when maybe it's actually just a cold coming on ... :D ...

[Fabian Franco]

Hmmmm. Isn't bad but it's lacking flow. Good content but if you find a way to give this a more proper structure that gives it a good flow it would be an excellent piece of work. Keep writing!