echo

at times i feel i have that 19th century mindset.
i have conflicting views on how open one shall express thier emotions or views
i aim to please my significant other and often suffocate myself and needs in the process
however in doing so i become extremely selfish in other qualities of my nature.

i have this unquenchable need for diverse conversation and views.
i aim to shock in certain situations yet shelter my self in others and put up armor for those who can easily hurt me or expose me when i am most naked
in my nature
i dillute most and perhaps many of my defining characteristics in fear that they will be shunned, disreguarded or prove me insane
or incapable. I seemto have my self figured out yet truth is i feel as if i dont know a thing. i often wonder if i even exist, i wonder if i have not perhaps worn my mask for so long that every thing underneath has crumbled and broken in to a millions of microscopic pieces.

shall i choose to be great, ambitious, rich and unhappy?
shall i give out my unique soul to the world so that not one shard is left of me?
shall i make every particle of my psyche public so not one thought or emotion is sacred?

i crave a listening from the public yet i feel they can rarely innterpret what my waords are trying to convey. However perhaps it is i who chooses the wrong vocabulary in my self expression.

i have caged my self in the lines and bars of prose. i have locked my self behind words for securtity.
i hardly know how to behave intimately with out chemical aid in reality. i feel at times that the only thing i have to offer is a listening ear and watching eye the genuis to turn it into a story, a fantasy. i have an intense fear that i will prove inadequate in all areas even this. i am not the best at anything , however i do extremely well at giving only parts of myself. i am an echo. not the true original voice, only a shadow of the self the repeatingb that slowly fades into silence.

Reviews

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

I think for the most part everyone only shows about 20 percent who they are afraid of being misunderstood... if we all were ourselves we'd see we are all alike in so many ways.

[.]

a deep and thought piece of prose..the writer question the essense of who they are..I am sure we all feel this way at times..but you have captured the moment in ink nicely

[TAO]

Mechanics aside, I think you've done well enough. It's as if we are looking into a mirror; in short, this is too easy to relate to. My reason for liking it, anyway. As for the mechanics, while it does not 'feel' like a poem, it does have a bit of poetic quality to it (in my estimation, anyway). It's almost a monologue, close, I think. Needless to say, great work.

[Doug Ordunio]

This really doesn't feel like a poem to me. I like the ideas here, yet they really don’t reach the place where you want to go. Here is what I would suggest…

Sometimes
I am antique
The 19th century
Should my emotions be forced through
The eye of a needle
Or an opened window?
Do I allow him to breathe?
And die in the process?
Am I selfish?


By the word, the way you seek is "psychedelically"

[Chipgirl]

Wow really powerful words love this :)

[Briley]

I think every one can relate to some aspect of this. It definitely captured the human nature of wondering and pondering about oneself perfectly!

[Bard Constantine]

Hello, Echo...

This is a bit eerie in a way, because much of this is like... well, an echo. Of the thoughts in my head. This may seem odd to you, but I completely relate to this piece... the questioning, the inability to relate the strangely disenchanting reality around me, the comfort of wearing a mask that has by now began to feel permanent... like I said, a bit eerie.

Perhaps we are not as isolated as we seem... a person who thinks in lines of creativity is always touched with a bit of madness, or so it appears to those who enjoy their stainless steel worlds of mathematical precision. But I have accepted all the oddities of the patchwork quilt that's loosely stitched together into the person that I am... and I relish my individuality.

Enjoyed this perspective, thanks for the thoughts...