f**k you criticize this s**t

she runs
out of breath
she hurtles across a field of cement
sea colored glass and dark crushed bottles shimmer as she races past
as vagrants watch her fly by in suprise
the la river flows
a golden reflected contrast
taking its time while litter floats gently on
boats out to rage wars against the seas
the suns setting
shes breathing heavy
looking up at the backs of houses and lives at times rudely exposed
she runs

Reviews

[Kaylor Mason]

This is urban LA at its finest--I wonder what the girl was running from. Sounds like she's running from the city itself, almost. I can resemble that remark; reminds me of home

[EMMIE]

I COULD JUST PICTURE THIS SLOW MOTION IN MY HEAD. YOU REALLY PAINT A PICTURE OF MOTION HERE. GREAT WRITE!

[Larry Dyson]

love these lines..'the suns setting
shes breathing heavy
looking up at the backs of houses and lives at times rudely exposed
she runs'...can you write more on just this subject ..would truly love to see where you go with it?

[Eagle Cruagh]

Hey, this is the first time I have
read you and you are breaking
my heart.
Just looking at the LA river is
enough for one poem.
---- Eagle Cruagh