Duck Pond Girl

A comedic story from my childhood

 

Duck Pond Girl

 

            As a child, like many others I’m sure, I dreamed of having super powers. I envisioned myself saving the world, or at least the people I liked at the time. The thing with youth is that they are in a constant state of change. One day this group of friends would include, Sally, Jesse and Raphael; and the next day Sally is going out with Raphael whom you had a crush on and she knew that and now we hate Sally but not Raphael because he didn’t know. As an adult I try to stay on the good side of all younger people for fear that they may actually have super powers and I don’t want them to eradicate me because of their raging hormones.

 

            I was the only girl on our street for many years so I had to work extra hard to fit in. I became known for accepting any type of dare and that is when Duck Pond Girl was born. In our animal area, which was located behind our backyard we began building a big bike ramp from the dirt that was dug out for our duck pond. My brothers and some of the other neighbors thought it would be cool to build a jump that would launch you over the duck pond. But who would be the first person to try it out? After it was built I wandered into the area and my brother, Sean and his friend Steve immediately dared me to test the jump. I didn’t even give it a second thought. I ran to get my Huffy Cactus Flower, with the banana seat, and prepared myself for the amazing jump I would perform. I stood on the jump to see if it was sturdy enough. I rolled my bike up the ramp and then rolled it down backward to check for, ok I’ll be honest, I don’t know what the heck I was checking for, but it was all part of the show. My audience had grown quite a bit since I had left to retrieve my bike. John, Steve’s older brother was there and Danny and Donny, two brothers from two doors down, had shown up too. Even if I wanted to back out I couldn’t. The pressure was intense.

 

            I checked my bike one more time and then looked down at myself. My uniform of choice was denim shorts and a shirt with one of the Precious Moments characters on it. A shirt my mom thought I would like. She didn’t realize that I would have preferred a shirt with BMX on it instead. Oh well, I could work on my super hero costume later. I gave the crowd a wave and I was off. I peddled my Huffy Cactus Flower as hard as I could, picking up speed as I neared the pond. Just as I was about to hit the jump I chickened out and swerved, at the same time slamming on my breaks. There was a unanimous “Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!” from the crowd as I stood with my bike between my shaking legs staring at the brown water in the pond.

 

            Sweat dripped from my forehead as I tried to calm my racing heart. My older brother came over and offered me a few encouraging words, “If you don’t go off the jump everyone will think you’re a chicken s**t.” What type of encouragement would you expect from an older brother? It was certainly enough for me. I turned my bike around and headed for my starting area. Meanwhile, Sean had the task of shooing some of the ducks and geese away from the pond. I guess they were getting impatient as well.

 

            I looked back at the crowd while Sean finished chasing the animals away from the pond. I’d had a crush on Steve and Danny for so long. I believe Steve was afraid of me. I was pretty aggressive in my pursuit of him; chasing him around my backyard yelling that I was going to kiss him when I caught him. Looking back, that does sound more like a threat than an invitation. Danny and I had actually been boyfriend and girlfriend for a while. We even asked his mom if it was ok for us to get married even thought Danny was a little younger than I was. She said it was. We had big dreams back then. He was going to be a race car driver and I was going to be an actress, if the saving the world thing didn’t work out.

 

            Sean gave me the all clear sign and I prepared myself with a few deep breaths. I imagined myself hitting the jump at full speed and sailing over the pond, feeling triumphant as all eyes were on me, Duck Pond Girl! I would land on the other side only to hear cheers of joy and admiration from the neighborhood guys. I would go down in history as the finest pond jumper in all of Happy Valley (my town), which was the world to me at the time.

 

            I shook my head and stared down at the jump and the pond, I could do this. I was going to do this. My heart was racing again as my body filled with adrenaline. I took off gaining more speed than even I knew I was capable of (super powers). I hit the ramp going as fast as I could and then felt the air under me. I was flying over the pond. It was the most amazing thing I had ever experienced. I was actually sailing over the pond on my bike.

 

            Have you ever had an experience in your life where things appeared to be happening in slow motion? Well that’s what happened for Duck Pond Girl on that unforgettable summer day. I truly felt myself flying through the air. I believed that I was up there for an eternity before I landed and reality hit me in the face, but not before my front tire hit the pond (which was only about two feet deep, filled with thirty percent water, twenty percent mud and fifty percent duck poop) and sunk into the muck; simultaneously ejecting me forward over my handle bars and face first into the pond. I sat up spitting out a cocktail of water, mud and poop only to hear a chorus of insane laugher. At that moment I knew I had a choice to make. I could get up and run crying to my mom, who would probably laugh to, as she locked me out of the house for being cover in muck, or I could play it off.

 

            I stood up, looked at all the laughing faces staring at me. I could feel tears of humiliation welling in my eyes. But instead of running off, I bowed. It was a long dramatic bow that allowed me to regain my composure before I stood up again. It was then that I heard someone chanting, “Again! Again!” Were they crazy? I was supposed to go first. It was someone else’s turn. No one was willing to do it after seeing what I had accomplished, so I did it again. In a sick way I enjoyed the simple fact that although they were laughing at me, and believe me they were, I was still the center of attention. For all of you ‘middle’ children, you know how rare it is to feel that way. I couldn’t help myself.

 

            Afterward, I used our garden hose to wash off my hands and face and was ready for jump number two. This time I pulled up hard on my handle bars and landed on both tires. Still in the pond but not face first this time. The crowd was impressed but it wasn’t as exciting as me going face first into duck poop, which of course, is all that anyone remembers. I have to point out that there was water and mud, not just poop.

 

            Duck Pond Girl hung up her webbed feet that day and was never heard from again. But there were others waiting to take her place.

           

2007

Author's Note

It's still rough, but go for it anyway.

Reviews

[MNeilsen]

I've told you before and I will tell you again...You have a wonderful talent for transporting me. Having grown up with two brothers (younger, yeah but still..) wanting to impress them and their friends I related to this. As in the story things never ended up how I planned, but they usually got a big laugh out of it. Which is what I got from this. Wonderful write!!!!!!!!