Did You Know?

I've set aside my hopes,

 

my dreams,

 

and put you first.

 

I cater to your every

 

need,

 

and sometimes,

 

your every whim.

 

I dutifully fulfill all

 

those needs,

 

every request,

 

the best I can.

 

But it seems like

 

it's not enough,

 

is it?

 

Something wasn't

 

done right.

 

Something wasn't made

 

right.

 

I didn't do it fast

 

enough.

 

Slow enough.

 

Right enough.

 

Did you know that

 

I have no life?

 

No want or desire

 

to live one?

 

Do you realize the costs

 

of my giving up all

 

to devote myself to

 

your care?

 

Did you know...

 

That I put it all,

 

my whole life on

 

hold...

 

For you.

Author's Note

This will sound bad but... I wrote this to vent out frustrations over personally caring for my seriously ill father. He could be demanding beyond what is considered reasonable at times. I know he was crippled and in need of care. And I devoted myself to his care. But sometimes, he could be perfectionist to the point of exhaustion. And if I didn't do something exactly right, he would treat me like an idiot. I loved him and gave my all to care for him. And I don't regret the time we had left together. But there were moments, like what sparked this poem, where he broke me down mentally at times.