It'll Never Be Okay

It’s so clear when you look at her

that you love her and it still kills me inside.

To make sure I don’t mess things up I pretend

that I’m not still in love with you.

I tell you that I don’t care and that I’m happy for you.

But now I’m beginning to wonder if that’s really how I feel

or if I’m just trying to convince myself that we won‘t be together.

The beating of my heart tells me one thing

but the words in my head tell me another.

If only I could find clarity in this confusion around me.

Then I could finally get over this and move on.

But I think in the end I’m just hoping you realize

the truth through the lie and end up with me.

I guess until the end I’ll sit here waiting by the phone

and throw on a fake smile to reassure that everything’s okay when its not. <3