Transformation

A poem

There is nothing left,
Bone dry and hollow,
I wish I never let it take over,
But It disguised its self in colorful masks and welcoming smiles,
And it got me.
It consumed every ounce of light I had
And It left a void of unneeded emotions,
Barren.
An alien to this body, I once called home,
I do not even recognize the reflection staring back at me.
I can't stand the cornucopia of self doubt it brought along with it,
But I can do nothing to stop it.
Its like I am paralysed from the waist down,
And my feet can not move,
Or like Im out in the middle of the ocean,
Drowning with no hope of revival.
What I mean is,
Most days I feel like I can not breath,
Like it has a hold on my lungs and it wont untighten its grip.
What I mean Is,
I am naked, vulnerable,
Like a snake when its under belly is exposed,
And I do not know how to stop it.
Im convinced,
Either there is strength in destruction, or there is a weakness in me.
Regardless it has found its way in
I Can not see it,
it has no snap,
It has no form,
But I can feel it take over,
I can feel myself transform.