Broken Piece

a review by John the Baptist words "broken pieces" made me think of the times I walked a beach looking for perfect shells. One day I realized the place of the broken piece.

Broken Piece:

The broken piece on shore

a fragment of original self

tumbled with sand and tide

by the primitive moon drive.

Under an orchestrated effort

honed through strike and grind

rough edges ground made round 

surface polished by hands not mine.

Purposed to form pearly iridescent nature.

Author's Note

seeking a comparative impression in metaphor.

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

The beaches on the Outer Banks here are covered in shells. I love to go searching every time I visit. Nature is a fine maker of pretty things from abalone to pearl. I enjoyed the read.

[Neha agrawal]

The first two stanzas build a strong rhythm and image of transformation through time and pressure. But the last line feels a bit rushed or unfinished compared to the rest. Overall amazing work😊

[carl]

Thank you for your honesty - I will take it into consideration - I think I was trying to push an idea in the last stanza that is either out of place or unclear.

[Coyote Poetry]

I was lucky. I was station at Fort Ord, California in 1991-1993. Every Saturday and Sunday at 5 am. I would walk the shoreline to Monterey. I found so many gifts from the sea. I liked the poem Carl. Old sea maybe like life. All of us will become just pieces to find the sea or the earth. Thank you my friend for sharing the amazing poetry. I did enjoy.
Coyote

[Ayesha Faiz]

This poem is beautifully written. It shows how something broken can become smooth and beautiful over time. I love how you compared the journey of a broken piece to being shaped by nature and time. It's really nice and calming. I loved it so much. Thank you for sharing this with us Carl. Lovely work!

[carl]

wow, thank you for the synthesis of my piece your words are a great encouragement to me - carl

[Ayesha Faiz]

It's a pleasure Carl.

[A.H.]

broken piece, almost we all are. so much depth in this poem, the words. you paint this with ease here. Nature and observation are key to life and more we observe and introspect, the more we find.
I liked these lines a lot,
"rough edges ground made round
surface polished by hands not mine."

Thanks for writing and sharing, Carl.

[carl]

my pleasure to have you read and review, thank you for the encouragement - "Nature and observation are key to life ' absolutely carl

[A.H.]

you're most welcome, carl.

[Thomas W Case]

Tremendous. You bring the scene and thought to vivid life.

[carl]

Thank you sir, for your kind words - carl

[emmajoygreen]

A beach has its own characteristics just as a human has but seems some don't see the menu offered only the hows and wherefors people feel rather than look and see, feel and get to know why the beach, know its sure and the reason the pebbles and rocks have been where they are far, far longer than history rarely writes about. I live near the Jurassic coast and am gradually learning what it has, what it did, what it proves today, now.. each day, each moment. A beach is never the same as was the previous day nor will it be when a single stone is caught by a shoe and kicked out of place so that others move, shift, turn over and expose what was.. will never be the same thought will be millions of years old.

Your words have lightly but carefully swept the scene with letters that feel rather than just wait to be noticed - rather than lie before eyes that need think about every letter and its intended meaning. I love the thought of -
' rough edges ground made round surface polished by hands not mine.
Purposed to form pearly iridescent nature '

and I wonder after hosts of millenia - just how many hands and shod feet have had their way with such a place that will outlive Man and his buildings. Yes?

[carl]

so appreciate your read and extensive review - much of what you say ring very true for me and my desire to express in my writing not so much a nailed down specific statement as it is a desire to present an impressionist narrative evoking a worthy feeling. - carl

[emmajoygreen]

That's all you can or should do when writing, thinking
about a shore. Your words are special.

[Buddhistboy73]

Nice write,....

For me we are all broken pieces.....imperfectly flawed, but yet perfect in our own way...

I liked the metaphors you used here.....surfaces polished by hands not mine......
This reminds me of many walks along the beach when I was younger, in search of "treasure"....or interesting objects...

Feel free to stop by and check out one of my poems...

BB73

[carl]

much appreciate the encouraging read and review - I will certainly visit thanks for the invite -carl