Journeys - debate via prose or poetry prompt - carl - m

hope I understood the prompt correctly

an edit of a previous post with thanks to Richard

Journeys progress on many roads

some go upon the sound of ashes

others the color of heavy loads

all encompass rules of passage.

Traveling outbound to other-where

along the wayside in-between

true venturers always prepare   

by a constant conscious dream-

to follow paths taken by the sun

amid revolutions revolving in time

to discover those who still abide

and remember ones left behind.

Author's Note

"I don't disapprove of mixed metaphors but I really like mixed perceptions" I'm sure that was said by someone famous, like Groucho Marx. If not I'm sure he would have, if he had thought of it. -carl

Reviews

[Richard🖌]

Excellent work, Carl 👌

I'm shamelessly remiss in following our "debate via prose or poetry" prompts, but yours here inspires my worn old pen to join the melee.
Soft rhyme and line-breaks in time set a very nice ambience for your journeys into vivid, image-laden routes of metaphorical wonder in a nice jaunty tempo.
Particularly enjoyed is the use of poetic license (other-where) and your script of well-conceived whimsical fantasies:

"to follow (the) paths taken by the sun
(perhaps, one less "the" or replace with a poetic word [to follow (bright) paths taken by the sun] … thought shared)
amid revolutions that revolve in time
hoping to discover who abides there
and reestablish the ones left behind."

Thank you, Carl, for the grrreat entertainment! ⁓ Richard🖌

(Author's Note brought a smile, too.)

[carl]

thanks for the read and review and I agree with the change to "the" I usually try to eliminate as many articles or prepositions without the loss of meaning to a line - much appreciated - carl

[carl]

and I did see this morning that debate via prose or poetry has been closed down - I will miss the prompts as my brain seems to need a spark to ignite the candle of creativity. - carl

[Richard🖌]

Awww, too bad, Carl! 🤭

I, too, often need that little creative push.
I should have taken advantage of the opportunity to join-in more often.

Ahhh, but "c'est la vie!"

[emmajoygreen]

Perhaps we can do something similar as poem or story in the cafe. I don't have the time to sort more than I do, so very sorry, had to close it.

[carl]

Not a problem I understand no worries- carl

[Coyote Poetry]

Me too my friend
(to follow the paths taken by the sun
amid revolutions that revolve in time
hoping to discover who abides there
and reestablish the ones left behind.)
I tried to keep my old goals and dreams. We must stay in balance. I wrote a memory book. Small stories about my family gone. Maybe my children will read and learn. We came from great people. Outstanding poetry Carl.
Coyote

[carl]

Thanks for the read and review - much appreciated - memory book sounds like a good idea - I have few details on my parents life and hardly any on grandparents and not much success searching Ancestry.com - I should write down what I know and pass it on - thanks for the reminder -carl

[Kady R.]

This poem is written so well!! I'm speechless and I normally have something to say. Thanks for sharing, I love the poem🤗🤗🤗

[carl]

thank you for your time to read and review I appreciate your kind words and encouragement. -carl

[Kady R.]

Anytime🤗🤗🤗

[Ayesha Faiz]

This poem is deep and dreamy. It shows how every journey is different, yet guided by purpose and hope. I love how it speaks of dreams, time, and finding meaning along the way. Very thoughtful and poetic. Loved it Carl!

[carl]

Thank you for your time to read and review and your gracious words of encouragement received with great appreciation - I wanted it to apply and appeal across a wide spectrum of journeys of various sorts - carl

[Ayesha Faiz]

It's a pleasure to review your poem. :)

[emmajoygreen]

'Traveling outbound to other-where
and along the waysides in-between
true venturers always go prepared
by a constantly conscious dream


to follow the paths taken by the sun
amid revolutions that revolve in time
hoping to discover who abides there
and reestablish the ones left behind'

You use a special respect to language when you write, yet there's no artifice. Perhaps this is part of your being: an honest and perpetual respect for Life and the Living. Many thanks for sharing, not merely for this post but others.

[carl]

thank you for your kind words or review. I do have respect for those things you mention and also for language I suppose from my time teaching high school grammar and literature. It can be abused but also one of the most beautiful of gifts shared by humans. -carl

[emmajoygreen]

Absolutely - yessssss!

[Lorry]

I have always found that the best part of any travel is connecting once more with people you met the first time you visited a place. In Scotland we call these people "well ken's faces" meaning well known or remembered faces.
Meeting those faces while visiting again opens up the familiarity and friendships that made the place so special in the first place and reminds you of that.

[carl]

not a phrase I am familiar with but sounds sensible more than or at least as much it's the people who make places special or somewhere to avoid. - thanks for the read and review - carl