You Are Not My Universe

The entire universe

Does not revolve

Around you

 

Saturn’s rings

Do not balance

On your every word

 

The sun does not eclipse

Just because you

Are feeling ill

 

Stars will not lose

Their light

Even if you do

 

Black clouds would not form

Even if your opinion

Is not accepted by all

 

The constellations

Would not scramble

If you are depressed

 

Comets do not lose their tales

Just because you suddenly

Lack ambition

 

The moon’s craters

Will not smooth out

To pacify your bad mood

 

The Earth will still

Rotate on its axis

Long after you are gone

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Steffi]

I like how you were very direct in the first set. Most poems have their meanings hidden in the words but your directness is refreshing and really nice to read

[Just Manoosh]

My god, I can here this being said ....... literally. Such a dressing down. Brilliant honey, I really enjoyed the subject matter, symmetry and conclusion. Mx

[~*The Writer In Me*~]

Good poem. There are a few people I know that could fall into this category.

[Quaysa]

I like this. It's real. You're very honest and many people need to read this. So many get caught up in craziness and think that JUST because they're life is chaos, the world needs to stop and say, "Aww. Im sorry. Let's all work on getting you better". Life does NOT work like that. So many are selfish like that and feel like Misery deserves company. Then, they have the nerve to be angry when they see that everything is still everything. This is a nice wake-up call. Love it.
~Quaysa~

[Monners]

I really love this. There are some I've always wanted to say similar words to.

[Julian]

This is a very nicely constructed rant! Rants often tend to be messy outlets of emotions but not here and that is quite unique in itself! You kept the theme going whilst maintaining the intensity. Well done! Julian:)

[M I N D Y]

nicely said. applauds your cheekiness.

The moon's craters
Will not smooth out
To pacify your bad mood

this piece is direct, sarcastic, tongue in cheek... it's all the things i want to say to the people i encounter who are like this, but don't.

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

I enjoyed your use of the planets in this.. it is one poem to think about and i can relate.
So many people do feel the sun rises and sets on them .. you have written it well.
So good to read you again!

Chloe
xoxo

[James K. Blaylock]

Wow, I really must say that I found this to be such an amazing piece. I have known many of these types-o-people through-out my lifetime... as I'm sure most of us have LOL.

[Narnie]

This feels clipped and curt which I think was your attention. A gentle warning, without room for anyone to go 'yeah, but...'

Succinctly put Crystal, congrats.