Soul Session 2

Feel like I'm trapped within my own thoughts. My dreams and aspirations are opening these rusting shackles upon my inner being. But then these doubts and tribulations bring these new titanium chains, it smells fresh and even stronger now.

I know I'll break them soon to see another come soon. Well I hope I'll be different by then.

One corner is filled with light and the positives, the other one is dark and gloomy

    But I'm not in neither sides. Body is in the dead center. The physical is doing alright. 

It's the soul... you see the soul is a boomerang. Goes over there and makes its way back. 

See I'm just afraid that my boomerang will leave and never come back 

  

Reviews

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

An interesting write... I see this as a purging piece of prose that really shows your emotional depth and the honesty that you use to craft your observations. Being trapped within ones own thoughts...I've been there. In the end, I believe there is light and dark within us all, and as you put it, the "soul is a boomerang", that spins between both planes.

Only suggestions would possibly be on form and a little grammatical content. I think if you put this together in a few stanzas with a few shorter lines the impact would be more rich. You have a great conceptual mind, though...your art shines.

[Troy Henson]

I like this one. It has great depth and emotion. Try and put yourself in a circle room with no corners for the dark to assume residence. Throw that boomerang with meaning and it will always come back.

Regards
troy

[A]

But it does come back. The problem is when? How long will it take?
Thanks for sharing. It's great!

[Anand Sehgal]

I know I'll break them soon to see another come soon. Well I hope I'll be different by then.
I'm just afraid that my boomerang will leave and never come back --> aesthetically its okay, but in real life never say die :)


this very thought keeps you alive. Good write. Keep it up :)

[Me]

I can relate...excellent piece :) x

[roarke]

Take away the font stylization an look at what your words relate to and where they want to go. Too much etherial conjuring can make the reader a little wispy in the head.

You have an ability with words and concepts, bring them together more with simple straight forward specifics and then watch the poem catch fire.

[poetdoug]

Great job. We need more poems on this topic today. Thanks for writing it.

[Everett DeValle]

Wow, you have major skills my man...reminds me of 1994 when wu tang clan blasted my mind...you are very talented.

[Sue]

Great language and imagery here...has shades of rap in it.....

[Dana Alsamsam]

so much emotional honesty carved into this wandering piece. those last two lines are rather poignant and really bring the piece together.

there are a couple of language/grammar errors that i don't know if you chose intentionally or not, but other than that i found this piece very interesting and introspective. great work!

[Lydia Shutter]

We are all part devil/part angel. Dark and light make up our universe. So it shall ever be. Choosing which side to stay on is not always quite so easy as it seems. Being centered is certainly not a bad place, is it? So much introspection here. I liked it. Lydi*